1、读后续写15:动作改造公式Part1 动作三连结构(A, B and C结构)2Part2 非谓语结构3Part3 时间状语从句4Part4 混合结构5Part5 高考真题句中的动作链5读后续写的写作过程中,成功的动作描写,可以交代人物的身份、地位,可以反映人物心理活动的进程,可以表现人物的性格特征。相反,空洞、笼统的描写会使内容缺乏生动性,使人物形象不丰满。人物的动作或简单,或复杂,都不是一下子就能完成的,细心观察都能捕捉到最能体现人物特征的慢镜头。因此,在描写动作时,同学们要学会细化动作,把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作,形成动作链,写出动作的连贯性,这样才能使描写具有画面感,使人物更立体
2、。读后续写作文中动作描写没有头绪?不知道如何下手?不如拆解动作,构造动作链,让你的动作描写既丰富又精彩!举个例子,何为构造动作链?我们先看一句高考样题范文。Hestoppedthe taxi,jumpedin with the suitcase andtoldthe driver, “Go to the police station, please.”这句话的意思是:他拦下了车,拿着箱子跳进了车里,然后对司机说,“请到警察局去。”其实,这句话只是描写了“上车”的动作,然而通过拆解,细致地展现了一个动作下的组成部分。其本质是避免简单粗暴的使用一个动词概括整个动作,而是用2-3个动词组合进行描述。
3、用一个公式进行总结以上例句,如下:上车=拦车+上车+告诉目的地再比如2017年高考真题中的一个优秀范文句子。She wouldget offthe car excitedly,laughinganddancingaround.这句话的意思是:她会兴奋地下车,又笑又跳。这句讲的是一个比较粗线条的妈妈,动作描写完整地描述了这位妈妈下车时及下车后的表现,即:下车=下车+笑+跳 这个训练过程,需要我们仔细观察,结合一丢丢的语文功底,并进行合理联想,并多多积累动词。同时,这也为我们提供了两种构造动作链条的句式:1. A, B and C(连词连接动词们)2. 使用非谓语Part1 动作三连结构(A, B
4、 and C结构)我们先看一下“A, B and C结构”。下面我用三个句子来说明这个结构,每个例子我将停顿三秒钟,正在听这个课程的你,你可以抓住这宝贵的三秒钟,快速思考,如果是自己来写,会怎么写?如果刚开始觉得有困难,可以先想中文思路。第一句:“男孩们跳入湖中嬉戏”想一想:跳入湖中,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?跳入湖里嬉戏 =冲向湖边+脱掉衣服+跳入水中The boysrushedexcitedly to the lake,took offtheir clothes andjumped intothe water.第二句,“她抱住儿子”想一想:抱住儿子,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?抱
5、住儿子 =冲向前+蹲下+一把抱住Shedashedforward,knelt downandgatheredher sonintoher arms.第三句,“这个歌手唱歌”想一想:歌手唱歌,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?歌手唱歌 =扫视观众 +深吸一口气 + 开始演唱The singerglanced atthe audience,tooka deep breath and began tosing.Part2 非谓语结构下面仍然用三种方式和三个句子来说明这种描写动作的句子结构,每个例子我仍然停顿三秒钟。第一种句子模式:-ing现在分词,凸显同一对象同时发生不同的动作。第1个例句,“老人静坐
6、”老人静坐=坐在夕阳下 +看报纸 +听广播The old man sat under the sunset,readingthe newspaper andlisteningto the radio.第二种句子模式:having done 表现动作先后关系第2个例句,“没有买到票”想一想:“买票”这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?没有买到票=排了很久队 +被告知票卖完了Having queuedfor 3 hours, hewas toldthat the ticket had been sold out.第三种句子模式. -ed过去分词凸显被动第3个例句,“孩子们哭了”想一想:“哭”这个动作前
7、面或后面会有哪些动作?或者因为什么原因让孩子哭感动哭了= 被感动 + 哭了Deeply movedby the story, the children began tocry.Part3 时间状语从句如when,while,as,before,after引导的时间状语从句WhenI arrived there, I walked to the door and knocked.AsI waited at the stop, I heard a big noise.Part4 混合结构动作链可以和情感,环境,心理,语言等结合,形成动作面。Burning with anger, heglareda
8、t me with his big frightening eyes ,yelling, “Youre such an idiot.”此处的burning with anger是情感描写,glare和yell是动作链,同时将动作和语言描写结合在了一起,形成了饱满的动作面,属于高分表达。As night was beginning to fall, Janesatonthe grass,staringat the vast sky, frightened and ravenous饥饿的.此处将环境描写,动作描写以及情感描写结合在一起,形成了饱满的动作面。Part5 高考真题句中的动作链2016.
9、10浙江卷She ate some berries and then walked along the stream, hoping to find a suitable place to guide the helicopter. 她吃了一些浆果,然后沿着小溪走着,希望能找到一个合适的地方来引导直升机。She struggled to her feet and headed for the stream. After having some barriers and stream water Jane walked slowly to an open area to wait for her
10、 rescue. 她挣扎着站起来,向小溪走去。在遇到了一些障碍和水流后,简慢慢地走到一个开阔的区域,等待她的救援。2016.10浙江卷In no timedid Jane rush to the rock,climb onto it and waver her yellow blouse madly.简并没有冲到岩石上,疯狂地摇晃着她的黄色衬衫。2017.6浙江卷Seeing the car disappear, Mac and his friends got on the bicycles and continued heading for Alaska.看到汽车消失了,麦克和他的朋友们骑上
11、了自行车,继续前往阿拉斯加。2017.6浙江卷They jumped off their bicycles, took out the knives they had taken with and approached the wolf inch by inch.他们跳下自行车,拿出随身携带的刀,一寸一寸地走近狼。2017.6浙江卷It turned around and spotted Macs friends.它转过身来,发现了麦克的朋友们。2017.6浙江卷Facing the four strong men, the wolf might feel threatened, starti
12、ng to withdraw.面对这四个强壮的人,狼可能会感到受到威胁,开始撤退。2017.6浙江卷Soon it ran off into the forest and disappeared in the distance.很快,它跑进了森林里,消失在远处。2017.6浙江卷Seeing the wolf and the bicycle lying on the ground, they instantly realized what had happened.2017.11浙江卷Calling out David and me, she got off the car,laughed a
13、nd danced around. 她喊着大卫和我,下车,笑着跳。2017.11浙江卷Sitting under the dark blue sky around the camp fire, we talked and laughed. 我们坐在篝火周围的深蓝色天空下,聊又笑。2017.11浙江卷We crossed big rivers and vast plains, climbed high mountains and overlooked deep valleys. 我们穿过大河和广阔的平原,爬上高山,俯瞰着深深的山谷。2018.6浙江卷My dad and I put on our
14、 new cowboy hats, got on our horses, and headed slowly towards the mountains.我和爸爸戴上新的牛仔帽,骑上马,慢慢地向群山走去。2018.6浙江卷He kept silent, listened very carefully ,took my horse rein and led the way. 他保持沉默,非常仔细地听着,抓住我的缰绳,领着路走了下去。2020.1浙江卷 原文He stood up, hugged his parents, and smiled, trying not to let his emot
15、ions (情绪) get the better of him. 他站起来,拥抱着父母,微笑着,试图不让自己的情绪(情绪)战胜他。2020.1浙江卷 原文The boy lifted the last bag onto his shoulder, and flashed a bright smile. 男孩把最后一个包举到肩上,露出了灿烂的微笑。2020.1浙江卷That afternoon, the three played happily in the living room, tossing toys here and there. 那天下午,三人在客厅里愉快地玩耍,到处扔玩具。2020
16、.7浙江卷We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. 我们对着熊大喊大叫,用力打花盆,然后向空中发射空弹。2020.7浙江卷I gave her the pepper spray, broke a branch from a nearby tree and held it tightly in my hand. 我把胡椒喷雾给了她,折断了附近一棵树上的一根树枝,紧紧地握在手里。2021.1浙江卷Dad rushed in, stood still, and then bur
17、st into laughter. 爸爸冲了进来,静静地站着,然后突然大笑起来。2021.6新高考一卷 Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk.杰夫把两个鸡蛋掰成一个盘子,并加入了一些牛奶。Jema found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jef turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan.杰玛找到了面包,把鸡蛋里放了两片。接下来,杰夫打开了第二个炉子的燃烧器,给煎锅加热。Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread.詹娜把烧过的面包扔进水槽里,放进另一片面包里。