1、高考英语书面表达不仅规定了写作内容，还明确规定了词数，并在评分标准中指出，如果“词数少于 80 和多于 120 的，从总分中减去 2 分”。但在实际阅卷过程中，如果词数过少，扣掉的不止是 2 分。因为篇幅过短，不能吸引阅卷老师细看以便查找诸如“高级词汇”“较高级结构”等“加分点”，自然影响得分档次。由于某些原因，在考场里有些同学觉得对写作“无话可说”，除了对提示部分的简单表述外，不知写些什么来充实文章；也有同学靠重复某些词语或句子，甚至摘抄阅读理解、完形填空中的语句滥竽充数。这些做法不仅不能充实文章，反而会损害文章的立意，且有可能引起阅卷老师的“愤慨”，得不偿失。请看下面一个例子：一家英语报社
2、向中学生征文，主题是“我理想的大学生活”，请根据下列要求和你的畅想完成短文。1专业与课程；2.老师与同学；3.学校活动。注意：1.词数 100 左右；2可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3开头语已为你写好，不计入总词数。I often imagine what my life will be like in my dream university._习作一：(得分 16 分)I_often_imagine_what_my_life_will_be_like_in_my_dream_university.Ill be admitted to Shandong University and majo
3、r in English.I can choose a variety of courses,such as English literature.The professor there will be friendly and devoted to their teaching.Besides,Ill have lovely and caring classmates.In our spare time,various activities will be held to build up our courage and experience,such as parties and comp
4、etitions.分析 该文虽然把要点悉数列出，结构清晰，还使用了一些高级词汇如 a variety of，be admitted to，be devoted to，various 等。然而由于简单罗列要点，全文只有约 70 词，且缺少连贯性，未能完全完成试题规定的任务。那么，应该如何充实文章以符合词数要求呢？其实，在试题“注意”中有明确规定：“1.词数 100 左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”。这里既规定了词数，又指定了充实文章的方法，即“适当增加细节”。下面先介绍几种常见的“增加细节”的方法，然后依据这些方法对该习作进行修改。第一招追加成分 目的扩展句子，充实文章 方法在要点句基
5、础上适当增加合乎逻辑的附加成分，如定语(从句)、状语(从句)(如目的、条件、原因、结果、方式等)、非谓语结构、独立主格结构、举例等，使表达更清晰、准确，主题更突出 特色结构复杂、句式多样典题例析1(提醒演讲参赛选手)要守时、讲卫生、守纪律。Please arrive there on time，for whoever is late wont be allowed to enter.Its bad manners to litter around.And always keep quiet while waiting for your turn.分析 原句虽然没有直译所给要点，且灵活化解了难点
6、，但过于直白、语气较为生硬；而改写后的句子则进行了拓展，具体明确。如“for whoever is late.”提醒参赛选手迟到后果的严重性；“Its bad manners.”指出乱扔东西属于不礼貌行为。因此，改写后的句子更充实，更适宜对参赛选手提建议的语境。2(演讲注意事项)要面带微笑；要讲慢些，讲清楚。Be sure to wear a smile on your face when you speak,which will make you relaxed.Besides,remember to speak slowly and clearly so that you can leav
7、e a good impression on the audience and judges.分析 加黑部分是根据语境所追加的成分，如“which will make you relaxed”指出“演讲时微笑”的好处；“so that you can.”为“讲慢些，讲清楚”的目的，留下好印象是“演讲”效果之一，也是能否获得评委青睐的因素之一。针对训练请发挥合理想象，扩展句子(请注意括号内提供的语境)。(1)(开设英语电影欣赏课)建议多选择英语电影。_，I suggest the teacher choose some more English films that _，thus _.(2)(讨
8、论学生带手机问题)不允许学生带手机。Students are forbidden to take a cellphone _.As a young studentappeal to us teenagersmaking English learning more interestingin order not to affect our studies/so as not to disturb others in class第二招补加语句 目的充实文章，增强连贯性 方法根据行文走向，适当增加一些与主题相关的语句，或由要点衍生的句子，既起到前引后联的作用，又能补充一些相关信息，帮助阅卷者理解所写
9、内容。同时，还能协调句式，避免句式单调的问题 特色协调句式，结构多样典题例析1(提醒观众注意)要按时进入电影院。Be sure to enter the theater on time.Whoever is late wont be allowed to enter.分析 要点句为简单句，补加复合句“Whoever is late.”，通过指出后果的方式引起观众的注意，同时，也使得句式多样，表达丰富多彩。2(谈论善款用途)义卖得来的钱将送给最急需的人。The money collected in the charity sale will be sent to those in great n
10、eed.This will not only help them get through difficulties,but also give them warmness and happiness.分析 通过复合句来增加“较复杂结构”，同时也是上一句衍生的“效果”：帮助他们战胜困难，还给予他们温暖和幸福。另外，“适当的结尾”(包括段落的结尾处)也是必需的，如书信 Looking forward to your reply./Best wishes to you./I wish you success and good luck.这些结尾虽有些程序化，但符合书信习惯，缺失就会影响文章结构，影响
11、得分。针对训练请适当补加语句，充实下面这个片段。(描写英语老师)His class left us students a deep impression.(1)_ _.He speaks slowly and clearly so that we can follow him well.Meanwhile,he would repeat just in time what the students did not understand.(2)_.答案：(1)He tries his best to make us understand what he is teaching/He has a
12、free talk with us in simple and humorous English/He has a good way to make his class lively and interesting(2)Greatly inspired,most of us take an active part in his class/Our English has greatly improved with his help and guidance第三招添加过渡 目的增加凝聚力，突出连贯性 方法 根据行文或段落需要，在句与句或段与段之间适当增加过渡词语，甚至过渡句，以使文章浑然一体，提
13、高说服力 特色行文连贯，条理清晰典题例析(话题：家长用车接送学生引起校门口拥堵问题)In my opinion,the problem can be solved from two aspects.On the one hand,our traffic department should strengthen management to make the parents obey traffic rules.On the other hand,our school should appeal to us students to walk or ride a bike to and from s
14、chool,which is not only friendly to our traffic environment but also is good for students health.分析 本段作者使用 In my opinion，the problem can be solved.主题句，其中 from two aspects 让读者明白作者仅提供两方面的看法，并以 on the one hand，on the other hand 进行展示。这样写作目的明确，读者毫不费力地明白了所写内容，这是明智的做法，尤其是考场作文。针对训练请在下面的段落内加上适当的词语或句子，以充实文章。(
15、话题：是否禁止广场舞)I dont think square dancing should be forbidden.(1)_ _(2)_，dancing is a good way to take exercise,which can help people to build themselves up.It(3)_ provides a chance for people to communicate with each other.(4)_，the square is a good place for people to work out.Here are the reasons/The
16、 reasons are as followsFirst of allalsoBesides/Whats more第四招详加描述 目的有详有略，主次分明 方法根据提示要求，首先确定主要点和次要点，然后在主要点上着笔泼墨。除了前面提到的采用“追加成分”以扩展句子的方式外，还可把一些主要点分开详述，从而提升这些要点的分量 特色详略得当，重点突出典题例析近来，中国游客在海外的不文明行为备受热议。假设你是李华，是一名国际旅行社的导游，就此写一篇短文在一份英文报纸上发表自己的观点。请根据下面的提示完成短文。1列举不文明行为；2指出其影响；3提出建议。注意：1.词数 100 左右；2可适当增加细节，以使行
17、文连贯；3首句已给出，不计入总词数。As a tour guide of an international travel agency,I find it so embarrassing to see many Chinese tourists behave badly abroad._ _习作二：As_a_tour_guide_of_an_international_travel_agency,_I_find_it_so_embarrassing_to_see_many_Chinese_tourists_behave_badly_abroad.They speak loudly in pub
18、lic places,carve characters on tourist attractions,throw rubbish,spit everywhere,and even cross the road when the traffic lights are still red.Such bad behaviors overseas have caused damage to the countrys reputation.Measures should be taken to stop this.First,before going abroad,tourists should be
19、trained to obey social and public order,and respect local religions and customs.Besides，kindergartens and primary schools should do more to teach the kids to be responsible citizens.Last,laws should be made to punish those who behave badly in public places.I hope soon tourists overseas will change t
20、heir behavior and win respect for themselves and our country.分析 该习作结构清晰，语言丰富，表达准确，过渡和衔接自然，属于优秀之作。尤其是在内容的安排和取舍方面更为突出，要点 3 提建议是本文的“重头戏”，进行了详写(占篇幅 2/5 多)；要点 1 次之，不文明行文列举清楚即可，未作过多渲染；要点 2 影响则“一言以蔽之”。下面我们依据上面几种方法对开头提到的习作一进行修改，请注意加黑句子对充实文章、突出主题的作用。I often imagine what my life will be like in my dream unive
21、rsity.As far as I can imagine，Ill be admitted to Shandong University,where Ill major in English.I can choose a variety of courses，which will help me improve my spoken English and have a better understanding of foreign cultures.The professors there will be friendly and devoted to their teaching,with
22、whose help not only can I enrich my knowledge but also I can broaden my horizons.In addition,Ill have lovely and caring classmates.Well compete in our study and be close friends in our daily life.In our free time,various activities will be held to build up our courage and experience，such as parties and competitions.Im sure my college life will be rich and colorful.分析 修改后的文章篇幅适中(120 words)，要点齐全、内容充实、语言丰富、句式多样、行文连贯。文中“增加细节”合情合理(见加黑部分)，尤其是最后一句与文章首句照应，结构显得非常紧凑。总之，要想使文章充实、连贯，就需要“适当增加细节”。但是，这些细节的增加需要结合体裁、主题以及行文走向，“画龙点睛”式地增加，绝不能毫无节制地乱加一气，以免冲淡主题，模糊文意，甚至“跑偏了”主题。
