1、第 5 讲怎样获取“印象分”段落要“清”，层次要“明”书面表达是主观题，阅卷时率先进入老师眼帘的是卷面和文章结构。因此，除了卷面整洁外，还要注意段落写作，做到主题突出、结构合理、层次清晰，获取阅卷老师的印象分。进行构段谋篇层次上的写作训练，是写好文章的关键。不仅要考虑文章结构，还要考虑适当充实内容，并解决结构重复、语言冗余等问题。下面从三个角度加以介绍，以帮助同学们提高写作能力。一、合理分段，层次清晰合理安排文章的结构。一篇文章通常可以分为三部分，即开头、正文和结尾。近几年高考作文范文及高分作文，绝大多数为 23 段，还有个别范文为 4 段。高考范文为一个段落的，在阅卷老师看来比不上段落层次清
2、晰的文章。请看下面 2016 年全国卷的一篇考生作文：Dear Peter，Our school photography club is going to hold an International High School Photography exhibition.The topic of it is environment protection.It will start from July 1st to July 15th,lasting about fifteen days.We welcome every student to offer their photos.I know t
3、hat you are concerned about environmental protection and you have taken many photos about the topic.So I think this is a very good chance for you.I suggest that you participate in the exhibition.If you are interested in it,you can send your photos to .I am looking forward to hearing from you.I hope
4、you wont let me feel disappointed.Yours，Li Hua上面的作文语言准确，而且使用了非谓语动词、复合句(包括宾语从句、定语从句、状语从句)以及虚拟语气等，总体来说是一篇相当不错的作文。但是，文章没有分段，缺少框架意识，把所有内容混搭在一起，给阅卷老师判卷带来了困难，从而影响了得分。如果我们把该文分成三段，前两句为第一段，简要说明要举行摄影展以及主题；后两句为第三段，对对方来参加比赛提出期待；中间为第二段，对要点进行详细地阐述。这样段落分明、结构清晰，自然会受到阅卷老师的青睐，起评分自然就会高。当然，如果我们再对句子进行一下整合会更好。请看整合后的文章：De
5、ar Peter，Our school photography club is going to hold an International High School Photography exhibition,whose topic is environment protection/the topic of which is environment protection.It will start from July 1st to July 15th,lasting about fifteen days.Every student who is interested is welcome
6、to offer their photos.I know that you are concerned about environmental protection and you have taken many photos about the topic.So I think this is a very good chance for you.I suggest that you participate in the exhibition.If you are interested in it,you can send your photos to .I am looking forwa
7、rd to hearing from you.I hope you wont let me down.Yours，Li Hua由于近几年高考全国卷的书面表达部分基本都是书信，字数均要求 100 左右。我们不妨可以把书信按照传统的“三段式”进行划分，有时也可分为四段。按照时间、空间或其他逻辑顺序把相关联的内容安排在相应的段落内，使层次更清晰，结构更合理。书信最显著的特点除格式外，就是开头段和结尾段。下面我们主要介绍一下书信的开头和结尾。1常见书信开头段的写法开门见山英语书信的特点是开门见山，用简洁的语言引出文章的主题，使读者清楚文章要说什么。I want to tell you somethin
8、g about my plan for the summer vacation and Id like you to do me a favor.(2016全国卷书面表达)Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.(2015全国卷书面表达)Im writing to tell you that my uncle Li Ming is going to your city for a conference,and Ive asked him to bring you the Chinese p
9、ainting youve asked for before.(2013全国卷书面表达)2常见书信结尾段的写法表示期待在书信的结尾处我们常使用一些功能句式，向对方表示友善的感谢或亲切的问候，表达愿望或期待等。Looking forward to your reply.And Id be really thankful.或 Id appreciate it if you could do me a favor.或 I would appreciate it if you could take the trouble to do so much for me.Looking forward to
10、your early reply.(2016全国卷书面表达)Hope to hear from you soon.(2016全国卷书面表达)Im looking forward to hearing from you.(2015全国卷书面表达)I am looking forward to your early reply.(2014全国卷书面表达)二、适当发挥，突出主题在写作提示中有“可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”的要求。其实，如果仅罗列提示中的要点，这样拼凑出的文章难免似缺少血肉的骨架，更谈不上有生气了。要使文章有血有肉，就要展开要点句，在合乎所给情景以及英语习惯的前提下，适当扩展句子，
11、或添加一些提示中没有提及但对烘托主题又十分必要的信息。请看下面的文章：Its such a pleasant surprise to hear from you.Thanks for the nice gift you sent me.I like it very much.At the same time,I truly appreciate what youve done for me during my stay in your company.Its nice and generous of you to do all this.这是一个很有特色的表达“感谢”的片段。文中应用多种形式表
12、达了“感谢”，同时还添加了黑体部分，这就使“感谢”更加真诚，符合英语感谢场景。但是，细节的发挥应合情合理，不能“跑偏了”，否则会让人有“拆台”或“滥竽充数”的感觉，导致得分档次的降低。请看下面 2016 年全国卷一位考生作文的片段：I have written out my job application form and personal resume.But because my English level is very low,I am afraid there may be many mistakes in them.So I hope you can correct my mist
13、akes when you find them.From this matter I have realized the importance of learning English well.It is a very useful tool for all of us.I must take great efforts to learn English well.该文章的目的是希望外教能帮助修改申请书和个人简历以及所附材料的文字和格式，但是黑体部分所表述的学习英语的重要性以及决心学好英语，给人以“跑偏”的感觉。三、合并调整，句式多样在连句成文时，还会出现句式单调、结构重复或语言冗余等问题。一
14、个句子独立来看是好句子，但若置于篇章之中未必是适合行文的好句子。因此，需要对这些句子进行适当调整，完善表达。请看下面的一个片段：First,you can try to communicate with your parents,and you can communicate with your teachers and friends as well.You can get along better with them in order that you can let out your anger.You will not hurt them or yourself if you do s
15、o.Second,it is important to do regular exercise.You can play football or basketball.Third,it is important to keep high mood.You should have good mood every day.You should also renew your spirits and release your stress.You can have a good attitude towards life and enjoy your beautiful life.这是未加润色而直接
16、合并要点句凑成的问题段落，问题主要表现在表达单调，简单句过多，主要是 you can.，you should.，it is important.，这与“句式多样”的要求相去甚远。为避免此类问题，我们可对句子进行优化组合。句 1 和句 2 可以进行合并，即 First,you can try to communicate with your parents,teachers and friends and get along better with them in order that you can let out your anger.；句 3前增加 In this way，即 In thi
17、s way,you will not hurt them or yourself.；句 4 和句 5 进行合并，同时用 of importance 替换important，即 Second,it is of importance to do regular exercise,such as playing football or basketball.；句 6 改变句子开头方式，即 Keeping high mood is good for our mental health.；句 7、8、9 也可合并，即 You should have good mood every day,renew y
18、our spirits and release your stress so that you can have a good attitude towards life and enjoy your beautiful life.。通过以上调整，整个段落长短句结合，句子个数减少了，但语句表现力和凝聚力却增强了。对文章的润色加工，考生要把握以下原则：1短语优先原则。在写作中考生要坚持短语优先的原则，考生使用短语有两个好处：一是能增加句子的亮点；二是在汉语提示少、关键时刻思维短路时，短语可以补救。因此，在写作时，考生应该学会恰当地运用各类短语，为书面表达增加亮点。2句式多变原则。考生一定要注意使
19、用多种句式，避免采用单一的句子结构，切记不要让 there be,and,have,think 等常见词汇泛滥。书面表达的句子并非越长越好，有时，一个短小精辟的句子也可以起到画龙点睛的作用，因此书面表达的写作讲究长短句结合，各种句式交错使用。如果做到简单句、并列句、三大从句、非谓语动词交替使用，那么文章结构就显得错落有致，表达效果突出。此外，在书面表达中考生若能恰当使用非谓语结构、倒装句、with 的复合结构等，必然能得高分。.(2017福州外国语学校高三适应性考试)每年都有许多人出国旅游，一些人的不文明行为引起了社会的广泛关注。某英语报社正在举行以“文明出国旅游”为主题的讨论。假定你是李华，
20、请你给报社专栏编辑写一封信，呼吁大家做文明游客。要点如下：1尊重习俗；2.不高声喧哗；3.其他。注意：1.词数 100 左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3.开头语和结尾已为你写好。Dear Editor，Ive read your discussion on how to behave properly when traveling abroad.Yours，Li Hua考生作文 Dear Editor，Ive read your discussion on how to behave properly when traveling abroad.Every year,a lot o
21、f people will go abroad to travel.Some peoples impolite behaviors caused the attention of the society.We should be cautious about how we act.How to be a civilized tourist has become a heated topic.I think that we should respect and follow local customs.We shouldnt talk loudly in public places to avo
22、id disturbing others.We shouldnt talk loudly in public places to avoid disturbing others.We should be aware that queue jumping is unacceptable in many countries.We should remember that we are representing our country while we are traveling abroad.If we can do these,we can enjoy our trip abroad and h
23、ave beautiful memories as well.Yours，Li Hua段落升格作文Dear Editor，Ive read your discussion on how to behave properly when traveling abroad.Every year,a great many holidaymakers go abroad for sightseeing and relaxation.While they are enjoying themselves,some of them behave rudely.How to be a civilized tou
24、rist has become a heated topic.In my opinion,it is necessary to watch our manners.First,we must respect and follow local customs.Besides,wed betternot talk loudly in public places to avoid disturbance to others.Also,be aware that queue jumping is unacceptable in manycountries.More importantly,we sho
25、uld bear in mind that we arerepresenting our country while abroad,so we need to becautious about how we act.Only in this way can we enjoy our trip abroad and have beautiful memories as well.Yours，Li Hua.(2016南宁市适应性检测)假定你是李华，你的美国笔友David 对你校开设的一些选修课程(optional courses)非常感兴趣，来信向你询问相关事宜。请根据以下内容提示给他写封回信。1
26、选修课程包括：英语戏剧、模型制作(model making)等；2每门课程的优点；3你希望增加的课程及理由。注意：1.词数 100 左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3.信件的格式及结束语已为你写好，不计入总词数。Dear David，Looking forward to your reply.Yours，Li Hua考生作文Dear David,Im glad that youre interested in optional courses in our school.Here is some information about each course.Option courses
27、 contain English drama and model making.If you are interested in science,you can choose model making.If you want to practice your oral English,you can choose English drama.In model making you can learn a lot knowledge about science.In English drama you can learn about different characters and also l
28、earn how to perform them.Besides,in model making you can learn more about teamwork.I suggest adding a music lesson.Lots of students are suffering from the stress of study.It is relaxing for them to play musical instruments.Looking forward to your reply.Yours，Li Hua段落升格作文Dear David,Im glad that youre
29、 interested in optional courses in our school.Here is some information about each course.If you are keen on science,model making is definitely your favorite.Students can get to know more about science,which will greatly arouse their interest.Besides,you can learn more about teamwork.If you want to p
30、ractice your oral English,you can take a course on English drama.When you are challenging different characters,you also learn how to perform them.In my opinion,I suggest adding a music course.Lots ofstudents are suffering from the stress of study.It is relaxingfor them to play musical instruments.Looking forward to your reply.Yours，Li Hua
