1、写作技巧点拨系列(六)打造写作亮点,提升写作档次【典例呈现】阅读下例，体会其中高级词汇和句式的使用。(2014屯溪模拟)尽管父母爱我如初，但随着年龄的增长，眼界的开阔，对父母的期待也有所不同，请以“Perfect Parents in My Mind”为题写一篇120个词左右的短文，谈谈理想中的父母应该是什么样的。Perfect Parents in My MindMy parents are concerned about everything about me:what to eat and wear,who to make friends with,what hobbies to hav
2、e.But I am an adult now.I do want to make my own decisions and lead my own life.Therefore,I do wish they would allow me to make decisions sometimes.I wish theyd understand that working hard to prepare for university does not mean readingtextbooks and doing a sea of exercises only;other activities al
3、so count,like sports,music and extensive reading.I wish they would take me as equal;they would include me in any decision making in the family,for Im a member and should have my voice heard.I hope that my parents not only love me,but trust me,and understand me as well.【核心点拨】提升写作档次的窍门就是增加文章中的亮点句式，打造亮
4、点句子，巧妙布局谋篇。具体做法：1.词汇的选择和使用要多样性词汇的选择要新颖独到，在有把握的前提下，使用在阅读中碰到的高级词汇，相信阅卷者会对你的文章刮目相看。试体会下列句子黑体部分被括号中的高级词汇替代后的效果。About the money you charge,does it cover the entrance fees for visiting the places listed？(As for)Some of my classmates are for the move.(in favor of)2.语言结构要丰富、多变在确保行文准确流畅的前提下，需要文字清新简练，语句灵活多变，以
5、使文章的语言结构更加丰富多彩。删减赘言。删减不必要的词，句子会显得明快干练，焕发新的生机。试体会删去黑体部分后的效果。It took several months of hard work to complete the project.用介词或名词代替动词或从句。试体会黑体部分被括号中的词替代后的效果。The flat has an area of 100 square metres and there is a bedroom,a bathroom,and a kitchen.(with)使用短语结构来简化从句或合并短句。常见的结构有介词短语、名词短语、非谓语动词、独立主格结构、同位语等。
6、Ill write to you the moment I arrive in Beijing.On my arrival in Beijing,Ill write to you.通过合并，将意义相关的几个句子用一定的连接方式连接起来，或通过紧缩，去掉一些多余的成分，可以避免句子冗长累赘，松散无力，使句子凝炼，层次清晰。I can follow my own interests.I can read books,visit museums and take computer lessons.I can follow my own interests,such as reading books,
7、visiting museums and taking computer lessons.增加复杂句式，改变“主谓宾”的简单句，换上句中的其他成分，或有意识地使用一些特殊效果的定语从句、倒装句、强调句、感叹句、介词短语、短语修饰语、副词状语等，这样能增加文章的节奏感和韵律美。You can work out the problem only in this way.Only in this way can you work out the problem.It is only in this way that you can work out the problem.3.巧布局，善谋篇，层次清
8、晰(1)开头段开门见山，点明主旨好的开端是成功的一半。而开门见山往往是阅卷人青睐的方法之一。开头点明主题，即首先用事实、观点、名言等开头吸引读者，进而直接表明文章的主旨。(2)主体段衔接自然，内容连贯主体段是由一个或一个以上的自然段组成，主要用来陈述事实或列举事例，按照时间、空间、逻辑、重要性的顺序，使用对比、分类、说明等手段，对主体句进行拓展，当然每个自然段是文章的组成部分，同时本身又是一个整体，也要有自己的主体句，所以对于占文章70%篇章的主体段落来说，这一段落的支持材料要统一筹划，合理安排。(3)结尾段简洁有效，首尾呼应结尾部分是给评卷人留下深刻印象的最后机会。结尾部分是对文章的总结和思
9、想的升华，简短有力，言简意赅，意味深长的结尾最会打动阅卷人。【写作指导】增加英语写作亮点 全面把握满分六大方法1.还原法即把疑问句、强调句、倒装句等还原成基本结构。这是避免写错句子的一种有效方法。他是因为爱我才同我结的婚。It was because he loved me that he married me.还原为非强调句：Because he loved me,he married me.2.分解法就是把一个句子分成两个或两个以上的句子。这样既能把意思表达得更明了，又能减少写错句子的几率。我们要干就要干好。If we do a thing,we should do it well.3.合
10、并法就是把两个或两个以上的简单句用一个复合句或较复杂的简单句表达出来。这种方法最能体现学生的英语表达能力，同时也最能提高文章的可读性。天气转晴了，这是我们没有想到的。The weather turned out to be very good,which was more than we could expect.4.删减法就是在写英语句子时，把相应汉语句子里的某些词、短语或重复的成分删掉或省略。个子不高不是人生中的严重缺点。Not being tall is not a serious disadvantage in life.注：汉语说“个子不高”，其实就是“不高”，也就是说，其中的“个子
11、”在英语中无需译出。5.移位法由于英语和汉语在表达习惯上存在差异，根据表达的需要，某些成分需要前置或后移。他发现赚点外快很容易。He found it very easy to earn extra money.注：it在此为形式宾语，真正的宾语是句末的不定式短语to earn extra money。6.意译法有的同学在写句子时，一遇见生词或不熟悉的表达，就以为是“山穷水尽”了。其实，此时我们可以设法绕开难点，在保持原意的基础上，用不同的表达方式写出来。有志者事竟成。Where there is a will,there is a way.【对点训练】用恰当的主题句和支持句或段落展开的适当形
12、式补全短文(2012安徽高考)Good afternoon,everyone.Welcome to our school!High school students _(面对)a choice between arts and science._(对我来说这是不容易做出的选择).After careful consideration,though _(我决定把理科作为我的主要学习科目).The reasons are as follows.are facedwithIt was not aneasy choice for me to makeI decide on science as myma
13、in subject of study_(首先，在中国理科毕业生要比文科毕业生需求量大).Second,the science major helps me achieve my childhood dream of becoming a scientist._(再次，我父母希望我在大学学习理科因为他们认为作为理科生我会有更美好的前途)._(最后但仍然重要),my physics teacher is my role model,_(对我的决定影响重大).First,science graduates are in greater demand than artsones in ChinaThird,my parentswish me to study science at college because they believe I willhave a brighter future as a science studentLast but not leastwhose influence on me had a lot to do withmy decisionIt is for these reasons that I finally _(做出选择).Thanks!made my choice
