1、Getting Along With Others In everything do to others as you would have them do to you. Forgive, if you have anything against anyone. Love your neighbour as yourself. Love does no wrong to a neighbour. We urge you. to admonish the idlers, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with al
2、l. If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your g
3、entleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Be angry but do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your anger. No one should wrong or exploit a brother or sister. For God did not call us to impurity but in holiness. Now concerning love of the brothers and sisters, you do not need to have anyon
4、e write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another. He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness. And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one an
5、other. If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples. Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is
6、for this that you were called - that you might inherit a blessing. . Lets summarize our journey together so far: we were created by God to enjoy him, appreciate our own and others uniqueness, and to grow in community, or fellowship with others. In the brilliant film Kramer vs. Kramer the divorced fa
7、ther has to explain to his five-year-old son that hes just lost the custody battle between himself and the boys mother. Soon the child will be going to live with her. The little boy sobs out what for him are questions of ultimate concern: Where will I sleep? Where will I put my toys? Why cant I stay
8、 with you too? The movie is about three people. Two grown-ups - a man and a woman - have needs that arent being met by the other. Their little boy, therefore, has to have his life messed up too. Where does such a vicious circle begin? Why is it not possible for humans to live together without confli
9、ct? What can we do to stop the chain reaction of grief being handed on to another generation? Oscar Wilde believed that other people are quite dreadful; the only possible society is oneself. Wrong, Oscar, and sad. (There is more wisdom in something else he said: In this world there are only two trag
10、edies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.) How can we get along with those we live with? You begin by knowing who the real me is. If you dont like yourself you wont enjoy living with others either. When I ask people in counseling What do you like about yourself? I often
11、get a nothing response. Some of us avoid responsibility for our behaviour with the excuse Well, nobodys perfect. True, but you dont have to opt out of growing; nor do you have to live with the negative self-fulfilling prophecies you or others have heaped on yourself. At the deepest level your identi
12、ty, your perception of who you are, has derived from what others have communicated to you about you. Its on the esteem of others that you base your own self-esteem. With the help of a caring friend, learn to accept yourself. You are an unrepeatable miracle of Gods creation. If you want to get along
13、with others, you had better start with the person inside your own skin! Then, affirm the uniqueness of others. They, too, are who they are as a result of the mix of verbal inputs into their lives by significant others, plus the accidents of life they have experienced, plus their own success or other
14、wise in determining to become a whole person. The Christian approach here is simple, and it works: pray to your and their Creator God for a gift of love: to view the other as one precious to God and made in his image. You cant pray this prayer sincerely for too long without beginning to appreciate t
15、he other! Then, lets be lovingly honest with one another. One of the great middle-class sicknesses of our time is affability. We are so nice to each other its sickening. We play games to cover our true feelings. Rather than walking in the light we leave one another to stumble in the darkness about w
16、ho we are and they are. But then, if we cannot speak the truth in love without the risk of creating greater hurt rather than healing, we might have to (a) learn win-win conflict resolution skills, and/or (b) follow the advice on my desk calendar the other day: Never miss an opportunity to make other
17、s happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it. We exist in homes, families, communities, to care for each other, as well as being cared for by others. However, care has ambiguous connotations, as Henri Nouwen has pointed out. For example, when a Mafia boss tells his henchmen to go take care
18、 of somebody that somebody had better watch out. He is about to be made an offer he cant refuse! Actually, our English word care goes back to a Gothic root, kara, meaning to lament, weep with, grieve. So caring should mean we become aware of the other in ways that stir deep feelings, and out of these feelings resolve is born to care for them in appropriate ways. This means breaking out of the circle of selfishness and making our lives a resource to others.
