1、写作专项提升 第二部分 读后续写英 语 2023高 考 总 复 习 优 化 设 计 GAO KAO ZONG FU XI YOU HUA SHE JI 读后续写要求考生在一段350词以内的语言材料基础上,根据该材料内容和所给段落开头语进行续写,将其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接且情节和结构完整的150词左右的短文。读后续写除了要求学生掌握丰富的词汇和句式外,还注重内容构思和情节衔接的能力。读后续写是一种将阅读和写作紧密结合的综合语言能力测试题。读是输入,要求考生能提取有效的文本信息;写是输出,要求考生将有效的文本信息组合并且做出合乎逻辑的推测,运用和原文文本一致的语言风格进行写作。此外,考生还
2、要有语篇结构意识,续写的两段文字需要和原文及段首句保持逻辑上的一致性和语篇的连贯性。一、能力要求 1.把握短文关键信息和语言特点的能力 学生需要掌握所给短文的主要内容,清楚其关键词和语言结构的使用情况,并通过续写短文表现出来。2.语言运用的能力 要准确、恰当使用词汇和语言结构,能够根据内容需要使用较为高级的词汇和语言结构。3.对语篇结构的把控能力 考查对上下文逻辑关系的掌握情况,续写的短文应语句连贯、表达有序。4.创造性思维能力 学生所续写的短文要具有较丰富的内容,包含详细和生动的情景、态度和感情的描述。二、选材特点 读后续写的话题贴近生活,有一定趣味性,选材多以故事为主,一般涉及以下内容:亲
3、情、友情类(如2021新高考全国卷双胞胎为妈妈准备早餐;2021浙江卷理解父母之不易,上交工资;2020浙江1月卷主人与宠物狗之间的深厚感情):侧重人物性格、心理、情绪描写。助人为乐类(如2020新高考全国卷三个孩子用爆米花帮助另一个孩子):侧重人物性格、动作描写。个人经历类(如2020浙江卷熊口脱险):侧重动作、环境描写。三、评分标准 各档次的给分范围和要求 档次 描述 第七档(22 25分)创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高;使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达流畅,语言错误少,且完全不影响理解;自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间衔接手段,全文结构清晰,前
4、后呼应,意义连贯 第六档(18 21分)创造了比较丰富、合理的内容,比较有逻辑性,续写比较完整,与原文情境融洽度较高;使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达比较流畅,有个别错误,但不影响理解;比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯 档次 描述 第五档(15 17分)创造了基本合理的内容,有一定的逻辑性,续写基本完整,与原文情境相关;使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达方式不够多样,表达有些许错误,但基本不影响理解;使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯 第四档(11 14分)创造了基本完整的故事内容,但有的情节不够合理或逻辑性不强,与原文情景基本相关;
5、使用了简单的词汇和语法结构,有部分语言错误和不恰当之处,个别部分影响理解;尚有语句衔接的意识,全文结构基本清晰,意义基本连贯 评分原则 1.本题总分为25分,按七个档次给分。2.评分时,应主要从内容、词汇语法和篇章结构三个方面考虑,具体为:(1)续写内容的质量、完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度;(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性;(3)上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。3.评分时,先根据作答的整体情况初步确定其所属档次,然后以该档次的要求来综合衡量,确定或调整档次,最后给分。4.评分时还应注意:(1)词数少于120的,酌情扣分。(2)书写较差,以至影响交际的,酌情扣分。(3)单词拼写和标
6、点符号是写作规范的重要方面,评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写和词汇用法均可接受。四、解题步骤 第1步 读透文本 首先,读透文本材料,确保自己的理解与作者所表达的意义一致。不仅要能读懂字面含义,还要理解文章的隐含意义,并理清文章的脉络和框架。然后,要快速地理清原文的人物和事件。我们可根据when、where、who、what、why、how来理清文本的内容和故事情节的发展脉络,提炼故事的主要事件。第2步 构思情节 根据两个续写段落的首句,构思出与上下文连贯,内容充实、引人入胜的故事情节。第一段的续写内容要考虑与上文的融洽衔接,同时要考虑本段和下一段开头语的呼应。总之,第一段要起到
7、搭建本段与前文和后段的桥梁作用。第二段是文章的结尾,除了与续写的第一段的衔接连贯外,还要与全文开头遥相呼应,将感情的真挚、人性的善美、正能量的弘扬表达到位,从而凸显主题,升华精神。通过抒情议论等表达方式表露文章深处蕴含的主题、人物感情以及人生哲理,让文章完美收尾。第3步 打磨写作 在具体的续写时,我们应对所罗列的要点进行筛选、整合、打磨,让文章出彩。首先,考虑与原文语言风格的一致。观察有无直接引语、各类从句、特殊句型、非谓语动词的灵活运用等。通过模仿创新,提高与原文的协调性,使用多样的句式和结构和有效的衔接词,力求在各个语言层次的表达风格上与原文保持一致。同时,确保语言运用的正确、生动、形象。
8、根据情节需要,对语言加以润色,使用更加准确、具体和生动的动词、形容词和副词等,让人物更加鲜明,让故事更加生动。恰当地使用细节词可以具体、生动地反映出事物的真实性,能够让读者感受作者独特的思想和情感的变化。第4步 认真誊写 最后誊写时,字迹要工整,卷面要清晰。同时认真检查时态、人称等内容,确保没有错误。典例示范(2021广东广州10月段考)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。“Ada!Milk!”Mama called.It was Adas turn to get milk.Ada sighed and shut her first-aid book.He
9、r head ached from reading in the dim morning light,but how else could she learn?Ada tied the cow close to a tree.Somewhere down the mountain,some volunteer doctors were teaching medical skills to village nurses.Ada heard Doctor Betty drive off hours ago.“She should have taken me with her.She thinks
10、Im too young,but shes wrong.I am already 16!”Ada thought.Ada carried the milk back to Mama,and then wandered up the road.Roy,a village boy,got a donkey,and some kids gathered around to see it.Roy was always doing something to get attention.He was trying to stand on the animals bare back.“No wonder t
11、hey dont trust kids with anything important,”Ada thought,sighing.She had just turned away when she heard a thud and a few screams.Roy lay on the ground nearby moaning in pain.The donkey stood several meters away.“Roy!”The kids nearby ran towards him.“Get Betty,”one said.Ada shook her head.“Bettys go
12、ne to the city.”The other kids seemed frozen.Ada ran to where Roy was lying.She dropped to her knees on the dusty road.“Roy!Can you hear me?”Roy moaned in agony.Ada saw that one of his legs was crooked,bent a little sideways between the knee and the ankle.A broken leg!She remembered what the first-a
13、id book had said about broken legs:if there is no ambulance,straighten the bone before moving the victim.There certainly wouldnt be any ambulance here.Ada looked back up the road.The other kids were still standing there,watching.“Victor!”Ada called to one of the boys.“Go and get Roys mama,and find s
14、omeone with a truck.”She turned to the others.“Give me your shirts.We need something to tie his leg with.”注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Ada then found a strong stick,which she would use to keep his leg straight._ The next day,Betty came to Adas home._ 续写步骤 第一步:归纳文本大意,明确叙述意图。Ada是一个16岁的女孩,她想跟着村
15、里的志愿者医生Betty学习医学,却被Betty 以年纪太小为由拒绝了。一天,淘气顽皮的Roy从毛驴背上摔了下来,摔断了腿。然而,医生Betty不在村里,周围没有一个会实施急救的医疗人员。情急之下,Ada准备按照急救书上的知识给Roy简单包扎,并让小伙伴去叫人来帮忙。Ada对Roy实施急救,得到了Betty的肯定,Ada的热心行为应该得到表扬。本文旨在讲述一个学有所用,追求梦想的故事,因而续写部分应与该文章写作意图一致。第二步:根据段落开头语,确定续写方向。根据第一段开头语中的“a strong stick”“to keep his leg straight”可猜测,续写第一段应描写Ada用硬
16、棍对Roy进行急救的过程。根据材料中的“Go and get Roys mama,and find someone with a truck.”可知,可以添加 Roy 的妈妈对 Ada 表示感谢,最后上车前往医院等细节描写。又根据第二段首句中的“Betty came to Adas home”,结合原文第三段情节可预测,第二段应该描述Betty对Ada的认可,同意Ada去上医学课,教她医学知识等方面的内容。第三步:根据关键信息,确定续写细节。根据以上已知关键信息,可以勾勒出以下细节:Ada对Roy进行包扎并进行心理安慰,Roy的妈妈赶来并感谢Ada,Roy被送往医院。Betty表扬了Ada的行
17、为,并允许Ada跟自己学医。Ada长大后当了医生。第四步:调整写作语言,完成读后续写。原文有大量的动作描写,也有环境和心理描写。在调整语言时,可以通过各种准确的词汇描写Roy受伤的痛苦、Ada的具体动作和人物形象。【参考范文】Ada then found a strong stick,which she would use to keep his legstraight.She gently wrapped the shirt around Roys broken leg and the stick.Roy was clearly in a lot of pain and his clothe
18、s were soaked with sweat.Ada tried to comfort Roy,“I know its hurt.Hold on.Youll be taken to the hospital immediately.”Then came Roys mama,followed by a villager driving a truck.Roys mother ran to Ada and held Adas hands,“Thank you,Ada,”she said.Ada helped them get Roy into the truck.After that,they
19、 drove down the hillside to the hospital.The next day,Betty came to Adas home.“I heard what you did.Good girl!”Betty praised.“You kept calm in an emergency.That means a lot for saving people.”Ada smiled to her.“May I go to the medical class now?Im already 16!”Ada asked eagerly.Betty nodded,“Sure.Now
20、 I know you have medical talents and youll be a good doctor.Come tomorrow and I will teach you medical skills.”Years later,Ada became a surgeon and she always felt proud at the thought of this incident.微技能1 读出有效信息 归纳文本大意 记叙文归纳主旨大意的常用方法通常是找出记叙文的六要素,即:时间、地点、人物和事情的起因、经过、结果,并将它们概括表达为“什么人/物在什么时间/地点做了什么事,
21、最终结果如何”。把握文本大意非常重要。只有把握了文本大意才能确保自己的理解与作者所表达的意义一致,确保续写的内容和原有内容在逻辑上的一致。推断记叙文叙述意图的常用方法是提问法,首先问自己“本文的中心话题是什么?”然后问自己通过上述六要素及其叙述手法的选择,“作者向读者传达了有关该话题的什么情或理?”或“作者想让读者有什么样的感受或体验?”。典例示范(2021新高考全国卷)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。A MOTHERS DAY SURPRISE The twins were filled with excitement as they thought
22、 of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day.How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed.They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge.They had watched their mother in the kitchen.There was nothing to it.Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.The big
23、day came at last.The alarm rang at 6 am.The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen.They decided to boil the porridge first.They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast.Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk.Jenna found the bre
24、ad and put two slices into the egg mixture.Next,Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan.Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread.The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds.Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the ot
25、her slice of bread.This time,she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake.The next minute,the porridge boiled over and put out the fire.Jenna panicked.Thankfully,Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly.But the stov
26、e was a mess now.Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge.But Jeffs hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain.Jenna put his hand in cold water.Then she caught the smell of burning.Oh dear!The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well
27、.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。As the twins looked around them in disappointment,their father appeared._ The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up._写作思路 1.明确故事6要素 发生时间:on the morning of Mothers Day 发生地点:at home 主要人物:the twins,their father,their mother 事情的起因:to celebrat
28、e Mothers Day 事情的经过:The twins made French toast and chicken porridge and brought Mum the breakfast in bed.事情的结果:Mum was moved.It was the best breakfast she had ever had.2.归纳文本大意 母亲节来临之前,双胞胎计划给母亲一个惊喜,那就是为母亲做一顿早餐。早上闹钟一响他们就悄悄地下楼到了厨房。他们要煲鸡丝粥,煎法式吐司。但是,由于锅太热,面包一放进去就糊了;熬粥的锅蒸汽往外喷,粥溢出来扑灭了火;Jeff想清理干净炉灶,结果烫伤了手
29、。故事由一开始的顺顺利利,发展到后来出现了各种问题。3.明确续写意图 本文是一篇表达亲情的文章,根据文本大意可推断出,本文的叙述意图是通过详细描述双胞胎为妈妈准备早餐的过程,描绘一个饱含亲情的温馨场面。【参考范文】As the twins looked around them in disappointment,their fatherappeared.One look and he knew what they were up to.Seeing their crestfallen faces,he told them to clean up the kitchen while he hel
30、ped them make breakfast for Mother.The twins cheered up and did as told.Within an hour,the kitchen was cleaned,and Father made some egg sandwiches and cooked some oat porridge.Then he sneaked back to bed.Meanwhile,the twins prepared the breakfast tray,added a card they had made and walked out of the
31、 kitchen.The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.They hugged her and yelled“Happy Mothers Day,darling Mummy!”Mother hugged the twins.Her eyes widened at the sight of the breakfast tray.She shook Father who was pretending to snore.He feigned astonishment when he saw the brea
32、kfast.Mother bit into a sandwich and said it was the best breakfast she had ever tasted.Jeff immediately wanted to have a bite.Jenna caught her fathers eye and they winked at each other secretly.【范文赏析】该范文完全是在所给材料的文本大意和叙述意图的基础上进行续写的。续写中围绕主要人物the twins的活动过程展开。语言生动形象,内容具体,有丰富的词汇量,能用生动的语言刻画细节,例如“She sho
33、ok Father who was pretending to snore.”;使用了准确连续的动作,如hugged her and yelled;描写了丰富生动的表情,如Her eyes widened,winked at each other secretly等;进行了恰当的心理活动描写,如feigned astonishment,这些都使文中人物活灵活现。该文句子结构丰富多样,长短句结合,使用了具体的语言。根据语言环境,恰当使用复合句,例如“Mother bit into a sandwich and said it was the best breakfast she had ever
34、 tasted.”,适当增加直接引语,使衔接过渡十分流畅,文章内容充实饱满。总之,该范文创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高。热点演练(2021山东潍坊一模)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。Our friendship runs back to our college days when I first met Rishi.We had our own share of first impression about each other.Mine wasshes a lovely,charming and full o
35、f life personality.Hers wasI look like an arrogant personality.I dont blame her for this.Many of my close friends had the same view when they first met me.Blame it on my bitch face and me being a shy person to some extent.We became really close within a short period of time.Ours was a group of four
36、people divided into 2 each during our final year when we both chose advertising as our specialization and the other two journalism.Back then,I was a regular user of BBM messenger and hardly used Whatsapp.On one specific occasion,we had really bad argument about a failed project.The usual blame game
37、was on.We decided to put it past us and focus on our studies.During this time,she once handed me her phone to show me a picture.While I was going through that,I came across a message from a particular Whatsapp group that comprises of her and my other two friends.I asked her permission to view the gr
38、oup.She had a blank expression on her face.But she allowed me to go ahead.I was in shock while going through their messages.Not really positive things were said about me in particular.It shook me.Because these were the people I considered my friends.I broke down in front of her.She apologised.But I
39、felt cheated on.I told her about my decision of not wanting to continue this friendship further.We both missed each other.But neither of us wanted to give the last try.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Then came the Rajasthan IV trip which was our official last trip._ Its been almost 7 years afte
40、r graduation since we picked up our friendship._【参考范文】Then came the Rajasthan IV trip which was our official last trip.I hanged out with my other friends while she with the other two girls.I wasnt enjoying this trip at all,which she could make out.When she saw me approaching the common washroom,she
41、followed me in and opened the door.I didnt know how to react.She gave me a tight hug and broke down.My tears were also out of control.We knew we both wanted to be in each others company.We promised to grow mature and let it not affect our friendship.Its been almost 7 years after graduation since we
42、picked up ourfriendship.Shes one of the few people I really count on in my life.Shes been with me through all my struggles,helping me constantly to grow into a better individual.So have I.The only learning from our relationship isif someone is meant to be in your life,they will ensure they stay arou
43、nd some way or the other.Willingness to keep a relationship should come from both the sides.微技能2 解读段落首句 推测续写情节 提炼出文本大意和叙述意图后,结合所给短文的情境和两个续写段落首句中相关的要点,从5W的角度想象续写部分的主要内容,预测故事走向。1.由于两个续写段落的首句已给出,因此预测续写第一段的情节相对第二段较为明确。而第二段的续写情节较为开放,需结合原文的人物性格特征和故事发展脉络大胆预测。2.续写情节的预测,必须密切结合原文的情境、文本大意、叙述意图和核心情节。典例示范(2020新高
44、考全国卷)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。The Meredith family lived in a small community.As the economy was in decline,some people in the town had lost their jobs.Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet.People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.Mrs.Meredith was a mos
45、t kind and thoughtful woman.She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor.She knew they had problems,and they needed all kinds of help.When she had time,she would bring food and medicine to them.One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before.There was a man sick i
46、n bed,his wife,who took care of him and could not go out to work,and their little boy.The little boyhis name was Bernardhad interested her very much.“I wish you could see him,”she said to her own children,John,Harry,and Clara.“He is such a help to his mother.He wants very much to earn some money,but
47、 I dont see what he can do.”After their mother left the room,the children sat thinking about Bernard.“I wish we could help him to earn money,”said Clara.“His family is suffering so much.”“So do I,”said Harry.“We really should do something to assist them.”For some moments,John said nothing,but,sudden
48、ly,he sprang to his feet and cried,“I have a great idea!I have a solution that we can all help accomplish(完成).”The other children also jumped up all attention.When John had an idea,it was sure to be a good one.“I tell you what we can do,”said John.“You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us?We
49、ll,we can make popcorn(爆米花),and put it into paper bags,and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。When Mrs.Meredith heard of Johns idea,she thought it was a good one,too._ With everything ready,Bernard started out on his new business._ 写作思路 根据段落开头语
50、,确定续写方向的前提是要首先弄清楚所给材料的文本大意和叙述意图。【文本大意】善良的Meredith一家住在一个小社区里,他们想帮助一个贫困的家庭。那家的男主人生病卧床,女主人要照顾丈夫因此无法外出赚钱,生活十分困难,家中的小男孩Bernard想挣钱养家,但不知道做什么事情。后来,Meredith太太的孩子John想出了一个好主意:制作爆米花让Bernard去卖。【叙述意图】本文是一篇助人为乐的文章,根据文本大意可推断出,本文的叙述意图是通过详细描述Meredith一家制作和卖爆米花帮助Bernard一家摆脱困境的过程,来宣扬助人为乐的传统美德。【续写方向】第一段根据所给段落开头语“When M
51、rs.Meredith heard of Johns idea,she thought it was a good one,too.”可知,Meredith太太也认为这是个好主意。很快,孩子们就忙着爆玉米,而他们的妈妈则出去买纸袋。当她回来时,她把Bernard带来了。Bernard很高兴参加这项工作,他说:“好主意!”他们一起工作,直到把准备好的玉米全部爆开,装满纸袋,放在篮子里。这里需注意与续写第二段首句呼应。第二段根据所给段落开头语“With everything ready,Bernard started out on his new business.”可知,一切就绪后,Bernar
52、d开始了他的新生意。比预期的要快得多,他带着一个空篮子回来了。他这辈子从来没有挣过这么多钱。几个星期以来,Meredith一家继续向Bernard提供爆米花。人们开始关注这个“爆米花小男孩”,每周他至少有50美分可以带回家,这对他和他的家人来说是一笔可观的收入。所有这些都要归功于约翰想出的好主意。【参考范文】When Mrs.Meredith heard of Johns idea,she thought it was a goodone,too.Very soon,the children were busy popping the corn,while their mother went
53、out to buy the paper bags.When she came back,she brought Bernard with her.Bernard was very glad to join in the work and said,“So good an idea!Ill try right now.”They worked together until all the corn they prepared was all popped,the paper bags filled and arranged in the basket.With everything ready
54、,Bernard started out on his new business.Much sooner than expected,he returned with an empty basket.He had never earned so much money before in his life.For many weeks,the Meredith family continued to offer popcorn to Bernard.People began to watch for the“little popcorn boy”,and every week he had at
55、 least fifty cents,a significant income for him and his family,to take home.All of this was thanks to the good idea that John came up with.【范文赏析】该范文完全是在所给材料的文本大意和叙述意图的基础上进行续写的。续写中围绕主要人物the Meredith family和Bernard展开,对文本大意中的“后来,Meredith的孩子想出了一个主意制作爆米花,让Bernard去卖爆米花”进行了合理的拓展,该范文详细描述了 Meredith一家如何通过制作爆米
56、花和让Bernard卖爆米花帮助他的家庭摆脱困境,充分体现了所给材料的叙述意图“宣扬助人为乐的传统美德”。总之,该范文创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高。热点演练(2021山东济南三模)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。I woke at 5:30 am after a restless nights sleep.I slowly unzipped the tent door to inspect the new day.Just like yesterday,the wind had dropped.It was a
57、nother beautiful Arctic day.I crawled out of my sleeping bag unwillingly.I was normally a morning person but the intense cold outside made that morning most unappealing.Anyhow,it was time to greet Charlie and start the day.My dog Charlie was up and it was bouncing up and down at the end of his chain
58、 looking well rested.I poured what looked like a pound of dog food into his bowl.Stepping out of the tent,I looked around for bears or tracks and saw none.It would never be a good thing to meet a polar bear.An Inuit(因纽特人)once told me that I should watch out for polar bears.He said that if I met a po
59、lar bear,I should keep the following rules in mind.First,keep eye contact,move sideways or slightly forward,never backward,stay calm.Do not show fear and stand beside a large object to make yourself appear as large as possible.Weapons like flare gun(信号枪)are necessary,but do not shoot unless forced t
60、o.Dont wound a bear,or youll make it even more dangerous,and never run.It was only six oclock,so I decided to have a leisurely breakfast of a bowl of milk powder,coconut flakes,and butter mixed with warm water.I sat on my sled(雪橇)to enjoy my first breakfast of the expedition only to find that after
61、the third spoonful it was frozen.So much for leisurely breakfasts!I added more warm water and ate the rest as fast as possible.Suddenly I heard a deep,long growl coming from Charlies throat.In a flash I looked at him and then in the direction in which he was staring.It was a female polar bear follow
62、ed by two cubs(幼崽)slowly,purposefully,toward me.They were two hundred yards away.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。With my heart quickening,I grabbed my loaded flare gun and carefully walked sideways a few steps to Charlie._ The whole event lasted fifteen minutes but seemed years long._【参考范文】With
63、 my heart quickening,I grabbed my loaded flare gun and carefullywalked sideways a few steps to Charlie.Without taking my eyes off the bear,I led him to the sled and fastened his chain to a rope.The bear was getting closer.Remembering all the Inuit had told me,I fired a warning shot to the bears left
64、.But on she came.Then,I fired a flare right in front of her.She stopped and looked at me.Then she fixed her eyes on Charlie,who was barking wildly.She looked back at her cubs and waited for them to catch up,then finally moved away toward my right.The whole event lasted fifteen minutes but seemed yea
65、rs long.My hands were shaking as I stood still,watching the three slowly move north.But despite the fear,I could feel deep down inside a real satisfaction.I now knew that I could stand up to a bear in the wild and stay calm enough to function and still remember the words from the Inuit.With Charlies
66、 help I had passed my first test.微技能3 抓住关键信息 确定后续细节 为使续写部分情节构思有依据,首先要查找出原文中的关键信息。大多数关键信息和情景模式有关,表示时间、地点和人/物等。1.将关键信息结合到预测的情节中,展开合理的符合故事逻辑的拓展,勾勒出更加丰富的故事细节,然后罗列出即将续写的故事要点。2.不可加入新的人物、地点或事件等,或对次要人物、事件大费笔墨,否则会造成喧宾夺主、偏离主题的后果。典例示范(2020山东模考)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。Though it is one of the faded
67、memories of my life today,there are times when I remember his face clearly,especially his eyes.As he had yellow spots on his eyes we called him Spotty.He would have been a stray(流浪)dog,until he came to me.I was seven years old.My dad had just got a new job in Nasik.We had moved into a rented house.I
68、t was raining very heavily on the day we moved.It was a cold dark night.We had our meal and went to sleep.Somehow in the midnight I heard some strange sounds outside the main door.I gathered courage and looked out through the window and I was really amused with what I saw outside.There was a small p
69、uppy lying on an old doormat which my mother had put outside the door.He was wet and trembling.At first it was difficult to see the little one.It was the yellow spots on his eyes that made me realize his presence.He was trying to get under the doormat to avoid the cold air outside and he had managed
70、 to get in as I could see only his head outside the doormat.Was he sick or injured?I felt pity for the poor soul.I went in and came out with an old towel.I went near the innocent one and held the puppy in my hand and wiped him till he had become dry.I took him into my room and made a bed for him wit
71、h a woolen blanket and a small pillow.He seemed very healthy and comfortable in his new bed as he went to sleep immediately.The next morning,everyone in the family came to know about the unusual guest.“Shall we keep him with us?”I questioned my mom.Like any other parents would,my parents first total
72、ly refused my idea but my sister and I convinced them to keep Spotty.Slowly Spotty got on with everyone and became one of my family members.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。One day,Spotty returned from his daily walk with a broken leg._ Almost a year later,one midnight we heard Spotty barking br
73、eathlessly._ 写作思路【文本大意】因为父亲工作的原因作者搬到一个新地方,遇见了一条流浪狗,在一个又冷又黑的晚上,作者一家收留了这条流浪狗。【叙述意图】本文是一篇爱护动物的文章,根据文本大意可推断出,本文的叙述意图是生活中我们要爱护动物,保护受伤的动物,人和动物要和谐相处。【续写方向】根据续写第一段段落开头语“One day,Spotty returned from his daily walk with a broken leg.”可知,应从Spotty受伤后带来的结果入手,后续可以写Spotty如何恢复,与家人的关系如何发展,需注意与续写第二段首句呼应。根据续写第二段开头语“Al
74、most a year later,one midnight we heard Spotty barking breathlessly.”“大约一年后的一个午夜,我们听到Spotty上气不接下气地叫着”,再结合本文开头的“Though it is one of the faded memories of my life today,there are times when I remember his face clearly,especially his eyes.”可知,作者在回忆他和小狗之间的往事,本段可以围绕小狗在作者家的失踪展开写作。【续写细节】紧扣以上内容,再结合所给材料中的关键信
75、息词可构思以下具体的故事情节。根据文中的关键词broken leg并结合前文信息,可构思第一段细节:Spotty来到我的房间我看见他腿部受伤在流血我喊妈妈过来为他包扎,并喂食我很难过但是第二天Spotty行动基本自如,虽然稍微有点瘸我和Spotty关系更密切了,佩服他的勇敢。根据文中的关键词barking breathlessly 并结合前文信息,可构思第二段细节:我出去看见Spotty在不停地叫过了一会儿他安静下来我拍了拍他的背然后回来第二天早上我看不见Spotty心里很着急,到处找他,但是没有找到或许他离开了,我非常难过后来我们搬了家,我依然惦记着Spotty,不知道他是否还活着。【参考范
76、文】One day,Spotty returned from his daily walk with a broken leg.He came to my room and sat near me.It was then that I saw his hind leg was injured and was bleeding.I called out my mother and she quickly tied a bandage around his leg and gave him food to eat.I was very upset.But the next day,Spotty w
77、as up to his usual pranks though he limped a bit.After this incident my relation with Spotty became more intense.I really admired him a lot for his courage.Almost a year later,one midnight we heard Spotty barking breathlessly.We came out and saw that he was barking continuously,heading somewhere.Aft
78、er some time Spotty became quiet.I patted him on his back and came inside.The next day morning,my heart skipped a beat when I didnt see Spotty.I searched for him in each and every corner but he was nowhere.And this time he had gone and would never come back.I cried and waited for him.We waited for o
79、ne long week.But there were no signs of him.Then one day my dad got transferred to Mumbai.We shifted back to Mumbai.What would have happened to Spotty?Would he have died?These were the only questions in my mind,but they all remained unanswered forever.【范文赏析】本文在所给材料的文本大意、叙述意图和段落开头语的基础上进行了完美的续写。第一段的描述
80、“我叫妈妈过来,妈妈很快用绷带把他的腿缠上,给他食物吃。但是第二天,Spotty又像往常一样活动了,尽管他一瘸一拐。这件事以后,我和Spotty的关系更加密切了。”完全与续写方向“Spotty如何恢复,与家人的关系如何发展”一致。第二段的描述“过了一段时间,Spotty安静下来。我拍了拍他的背,走了进去。第二天早上,当我没有看到Spotty的时候,我的心就跳了一下。我在每个角落都找他,但没有找到。这一次他走了,再也不会回来了。”与续写方向“小狗在作者家失踪”完全一致。热点演练 阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。For many years,I had a
81、 recurring(重复出现的)dream.I was a little girl again,rushing about,trying to get ready for school.“Hurry,youll be late for school,”my mother called to me.“I am hurrying,Mom!What did I do with my books?”Deep inside I knew where the dream came from.It was about some unfinished business in my life.As a kid
82、,I loved everything about school.I loved books,teachers,tests and homework.Most of all I longed to someday march down the aisle(通道)to receive my diploma.That seemed more appealing even than getting married.But at 15,I had to drop out because my parents couldnt afford tuition(学费).My hope of getting a
83、 diploma was dead,or so I thought.Pretty soon,I married and had three children,and I thought:“There goes my diploma.”Even so,I wanted my children to be educated.But Linda,our youngest child,had juvenile arthritis(幼年型关节炎)in her hands and knees,which made it impossible for her to function in a normal
84、classroom.I felt really sorry for her and I didnt want her to live her life with regret.I didnt give up hope of her being back to school in some way.One day,I saw an ad in the newspaper for evening courses.“Thats the answer,”I said to myself.Linda always feels better in the evening,so Ill just sign
85、her up for night school.Linda was busy filling out enrollment(入学)forms when the secretary said:“Mrs.Schantz,why dont you come back to school?”I laughed:“Theres no way!Im 55!”But he persisted,and before I knew what I had done,I was enrolled for classes in English and crafts.“This is only an experimen
86、t,”I warned him,but he just smiled.So,I told myself to try for just a semester and to see if it would work.Anyway,my dream was still there in my heart.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。It was exciting to go to school again but it was no game._ Linda and I saw each other through all these years._【
87、参考范文】It was exciting to go to school again but it was no game.Sitting in a classroom full of kids was awkward,even if most of them were respectful and encouraging.During the day,I was still a busy married woman having loads of housework to do.In the evening,I was a hardworking student working on my
88、courses.To my surprise,both Linda and I did very well in night school.I went back again the next semester and my grades steadily improved.Linda and I saw each other through all these years.When I was down,Linda encouraged me.“Mom,you cant quit now!”And when she was down,I encouraged her.I have to sa
89、y it was a time which was really hard for both of us.But neither of us gave up.At last,I got my diploma.To my surprise,almost all of my classmates voted for me to be the class speaker,and I got a$3,000 college scholarship.The unfinished business in my dreams was eventually finished.微技能4 打磨写作语言 做到生动描
90、述 续写的语言如果平淡无奇,没有足够的表现力,就会影响故事内容的精彩呈现,因此要学会如何优化自己的语言。所以在确定故事大致走向,勾勒更加丰富的故事细节时,可以运用一些优化语言的技巧提升语言表达效果。一、人物描写 描写人物可以从动作描写和心理描写两方面入手,使人物形象栩栩如生、活灵活现,个性特征更加鲜明。1.动作描写(1)语言要准确:使用最准确的动词,刻画相应的动作。试比较下面两句:The young man walked faster.The young man quickened his pace.分析句中walked faster太过平淡,而句中使用了具体化的表示“加快”的动词quicke
91、n,从而使加快脚步的动作更加生动了。(2)过程要有序:展示人物个性的动作时,要描写出动作的整个过程。在续写时,应按动作的先后顺序叙述细节。试比较下面两句:Jennas father saw her and they looked at each other.Jenna caught her fathers eye and they winked at each other secretly.分析句在描写父女二人看见彼此的场面,没有细节的动作描写,因此显得很平淡。而句用了 caught her fathers eye;winked at each othersecretly两个连贯的动作,生动具
92、体地描述了他们见面的微妙过程,具有极强的画面感。(3)恰当运用修辞:利用恰当的修辞手法来帮助描写动作。比喻、夸张等修辞手法都能让动作描写变得更有表现力。试比较下面的句子:比喻 The old mans face wrinkled.The old mans face was like a withered apple.夸张 When she heard the bad news,she cried.When she heard the bad news,a river of tears poured.分析上面每组中的第二句分别使用了比喻、夸张的修辞手法,使得动作的描述更加生动形象,更加吸引眼球。
93、2.心理描写 心理描写可揭示人物的内心世界,表现人物的性格、特点、感情和思想等。心理描写要符合人物特征。(1)突出细节:在描写人物心理活动时,一定要突出细节,所有的感情都体现在细微处,所以尽量不用笼统的词,如smile,cry等,而用相应的细节性词汇。例如:Lily smiled happily.Lily flashed a bright smile on her face.分析句中smile是一个笼统的描述微笑的词汇,而句中使用了flasheda bright smile更加突出细节,描写得更加形象细致。(2)运用比喻:除了选择细致的心理描写词汇外,提升语言层次的另外一种方式是多使用修辞方法
94、。The smile on her face shone like a diamond.I feel like I am floating in an ocean of sadness.分析句中,把“微笑”比喻成“像钻石一样闪闪发光”;而句中,把“悲伤”比喻成“漂浮在悲伤的海洋里”,用修辞来体现细节描写,语言会更加形象生动。3.外貌描写(1)进行外貌描写时,可以描写人物的外貌特征,也可以写对一个人的总体印象。如,a middle-aged woman中年妇女;an accomplished young lady 一位年轻有为的女士;a girl in her early twenties 一个
95、20岁出头的姑娘。(2)可以具体描述人物的五官、着装,甚至可以配上动作描述。Looking at his weather-worn face,I was surprised.She is a quiet gracious lady,wearing shoulder-length hair.分析句中的weather-worn face表示“饱经风霜的脸”;句中wearingshoulder-length hair说明“留着长发”。这两句中,通过扩展对具体人物外貌的描写,达到了丰富人物形象的目的。4.性格描写 对于人物的性格描写,一定要进行个性化描述。尽量避免用过于笼统的词,而应该采用相对细致入微
96、的词汇或句式,来突出人物的个性。Her teacher has lovely and good-natured personality.Under the sun,his eyes were as deep as a pool of water,flashing strong self-confidence.分析句中,用lovely and good-natured来描述他的性格,用词要比good更加形象;而句中,用flashing strong self-confidence来细致描述一个人的个性,体现细节描写对人物个性的刻画。二、环境描写 1.客观环境描写 客观环境的描写,常从环境本身入手
97、,尽量突出感官体验。如强调“风雨雷电”或“花鸟虫鱼”等自然界所存在的事物本身,以及它们给人们带来的感受,如声音、气味、颜色、感觉、味道等等。The wind and rain shipped the house.A cold breeze blew through my hair.分析句中“风和雨击打着房子”是听觉上的感受;句中的“冷风吹拂过我的头发”,描述的是风给“我”带来的感觉。2.主观环境描写 主观环境描写则从观察者角度入手,表达“景物给人带来何种感受”,所以在表达上常是“我觉得”;我看到”。The beautiful scenery in the countryside kept me
98、 spellbound.Then I glanced up and saw a pair of kites,red with long blue tails,rising in the sky.分析句中的“美丽的景色使我如此陶醉”,描述的是美景给“我”的感受;句中“我抬起头,望见两只红色的风筝,带着长长的蓝色尾巴,在天空中冉冉升起”也是从观察者的角度来写环境。三、对话语言的使用 1.注重对话用语的简洁 在对人物冲突中的具体的对话描写时,要注意语言简洁,重点突出。2.对话描写要体现真情实感 在使用对话描写时,真情实感是最好的表达,尽量避免过于“高大上”,和使用不符合人物真实身份的对话用语。3.注
99、重对话用语的比重 要注意对话描写在文章段落中的比重,切忌以全对话或大部分对话代替其他细节描写。四、与文本语言的一致 1.续写时,应尽可能根据原文在句子结构、语法结构、词汇选择和修辞手法上的语言特点遣词造句,不能因个人喜好或为追求词句的高级和复杂等,刻意将不符合原文的词句生搬硬套到续写部分。2.记叙文中常出现人物之间的对话。如果用直接引语记录人物间的对话,应特别留意人物的特点和对话的情境。任何一个人物的语言应该和人物的特点一致,符合其身份和性格特征。3.人物的语言也应和说话时的情境吻合,即在什么情况下说什么话,如紧急情况下的话语应该是短促的,不适合用复杂的带有从句的复合句。热点演练 阅读下面材料
100、,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。It was summer,and my dad wanted to treat me to a vacation like never before.He decided to take me on a trip to the Wild West.We took a plane to Albuquerque,a big city in the state of New Mexico.We reached Albuquerque in the late afternoon.Uncle Paul,my dads friend,pick
101、ed us up from the airport and drove us up to his farm in Pecos.His wife Tina cooked us a delicious dinner and we got to know his sons Ryan and Kyle.My dad and I spent the night in the guestroom of the farm house listening to the frogs and water rolling down the river nearby.Very early in the morning
102、,Uncle Paul woke us up to have breakfast.“The day starts at dawn on my farm,”he said.After breakfast,I went to help Aunt Tina feed the chickens,while my dad went with Uncle Paul to take the sheep out to graze(吃草).I was impressed to see my dad and Uncle Paul riding horses.They looked really cool.In t
103、he afternoon,I asked Uncle Paul if I could take a horse ride,and he said yes,as long as my dad went with me.I wasnt going to take a horse ride by myself anyway.So,my dad and I put on our new cowboy hats,got on our horses,and headed slowly towards the mountains.“Dont be late for supper,”Uncle Paul cr
104、ied,“and keep to the track so that you dont get lost!”“OK!”my dad cried back.After a while Uncle Paul and his farm house were out of sight.It was so peaceful and quiet and the colors of the brown rocks,the deep green pine trees,and the late afternoon sun mixed to create a magic scene.It looked like
105、a beautiful woven(编织的)blanket spread out upon the ground just for us.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse._ We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark._ 写作思路【文本大意】爸爸为了让作者过一个不同寻常的暑假,带着一家人去了Uncle Paul的农场。在那里,作者在爸爸的陪伴下,体验了一次骑马历险并偶遇了一只兔子
106、。【叙述意图】本文是一篇有关生活经历的文章。根据文本大意可知,作者叙述了一次去西部的经历,旨在说明人与自然要和谐相处。【续写方向】第一段开头语“Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse.”是故事发展的转折点。结合上文的对沿途美丽景色的描写,可以推知作者和爸爸正在欣赏沿途的美景,这时突然跳出一只兔子,必然会打破原来的平静。于是,作者、爸爸以及马的反应和心理活动也要发生相应的变化,这应该是本段要描写的内容。第二段开头语“We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark.”
107、呼应原文 Uncle Paul 的叮嘱“Dont be late for supper”,续写可从迷路后如何寻路返回农场开始。这里,天黑迷路时人物的心理活动、周围环境的描写和爸爸的行为表现等方面应该是描写的主要内容。【确定细节】根据以上内容再结合原文中的关键词dad,get lost,track可勾勒出续写部分第一段的细节:兔子突然出现了它的可爱模样引起了“我”的兴趣跟着兔子走着,并欣赏着沿路的美丽景色偏离了原来的轨迹眼前除了树什么也没有不能及时赶回去吃晚饭了无论尝试什么办法都无济于事我们又累又饿。根据以上内容再结合关键词it was getting dark可勾勒出续写部分第二段的细节:天黑
108、了,我们不知道自己身处何地更糟糕的是,天竟然下起了小雨雨水冲走了我们来时留下的痕迹“我”就要崩溃了爸爸说记得保罗叔叔的农舍在一条河边只要能找到那条河就能回家找到了小河然后沿着小河回到了农场。【语言调整】所给的文本材料中,大量使用并列句,同时有状语从句和非谓语动词。对环境进行描写时,运用比喻的修辞手法。因此,在续写部分,应沿用原文的语言特点,恰当利用直接引语描写人物,利用并列句描写动作及利用比喻描写环境等。为使情节跌宕起伏,在描写“我”的心理活动时可以利用almost on the edge of breaking down 来表现“我”内心的恐惧和崩溃,用in a gentle and cal
109、m voice来体现爸爸的沉稳;用thrilling等表达找到家的兴奋心情。【参考范文】Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse.Dad and I found it was so cute that we decided to chase it.After a while,we completely got lost in the forest.There was nothing in our sight but trees.“We may not be able to make it back to the farm
110、house and will be late for supper.”I thought to myself.After a series of fruitless attempts to find a way out,we were very hungry and tired.We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark.We got stuck in the forest.And an unexpected shower added to the difficulty in finding a way home,for all t
111、he tracks we had made disappeared because of the rain.I was almost on the edge of breaking down when my father said in a gentle and calm voice,“Dont worry,my kid.I remember there is a river near the farm house.Find the river and we will be back home.”Finally,we found the river and got back to the ho
112、use along it.What a thrilling vacation like never before we had!【范文赏析】该范文续写完整,情节发展合理,与原文情境融洽度高。范文中所用语言表现力非常强。作者用朴实、细腻、形象的语言描写了自己和爸爸外出骑马迷路后,通过努力和智慧回到农场的经过。情感方面的描写主要体现在作者的心理变化上,作者从看到兔子的欢喜到森林迷路的迷茫与无助,用a series of fruitless attempts表达了迷路后的尝试和努力后的无果。然后,天公不作美下了雨,更增加了作者的无助,因为来时的足迹让雨冲没了。这时候,爸爸的安慰让作者振作了起来。对周
113、边环境的描写不多,“There was nothing in our sight but trees.(眼前什么也看不见,只有树)”,这种环境描写看似漫不经心,实则表现了作者的焦虑与害怕。本文共用两句直接引语。第一句是作者的内心独白,表达了对回不到农场的焦虑和担忧,第二句是爸爸说的话,他的温和与镇定给了作者安慰与依靠,体现了文章积极向上的基调。这次冒险为作者的人生经历增添了一个别样的回忆。全文没有用高级的词汇渲染,而是使用像cute,make it,a series of fruitless attempts,got stuck,added to the difficulty,on the e
114、dge of breaking down等词,给读者“小桥流水”的感觉。热点演练(2021山东烟台一模)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。It was a Saturday in June,1988.Out of a 16-year-olds early summer boredom,I had set up a tent in our rural yard and intended to sleep in it,but I stayed in the house to finish watching the Lakers play-off game.I
115、t was almost midnight and Dad had been asleep upstairs for hours when someone knocked at the front door.It never occurred to me not to answer it.To my surprise,it was a girl about my age with a bloody cut on her forehead.“Hi.Im Maria.Whats wrong with you?”I asked her with concern.Awkward and embarra
116、ssed,she replied:“Im Jane.I.”she hesitated and then asked me carefully,“May I stay here for the night?Ill be off tomorrow morning.”Seeing her uneasiness,I comforted her,“Take it easy,Jane.Stay with me tonight.”I invited her into the house.Looking around,Jane appeared to have calmed down.“Let me trea
117、t your injury first,”I said and she agreed.I cleaned and bandaged(包扎)her injured forehead and then gave her some bread and bacon to eat.“Want to sleep in my tent?”I asked her and she nodded.Having left her in the bathroom,I went to look for another sleeping bag.When I returned,Jane was seated on the
118、 sofa,her face clouded by sadness.Walking across the dark yard,I accompanied Jane into the tent.We lay down side by side.Seized by curiosity and concern,I constantly turned over,wondering what had happened to her and how she came here.Jane seemed to have sensed that and started to speak.Janes father
119、 died of cancer years before.Her mother did odd cleaning jobs to raise her.Money was tight but her mother tried to do what she could to satisfy Jane.Several weeks before,Jane accidentally saw a fancy white dress in the store window,which she fell in love with at first sight.She excitedly told her mo
120、ther about that,who promised to buy it as her birthday gift.From then on,Jane was looking forward to it.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Janes 16th birthday came but her mother didnt get home until the evening._ Having told her story,Jane said she regretted being inconsiderate to her mom._【参考范文】
121、Janes 16th birthday came but her mother didnt get home until theevening.Thirsty for the dress,Jane got extremely disappointed when seeing her mother back empty-handed.She stormed out before her mother could stop her.Jane walked angrily and aimlessly only to find herself in an unknown place hours lat
122、er.Worse still,she fell down in the dark,hurting her forehead.Painful and hungry,she came to realize she shouldnt have been so willful,but there was nobody around she could turn to for help.So she had to move on until she saw the light from our house.Having told her story,Jane said she regretted bei
123、ng inconsiderate to hermom.I kept comforting her until we fell asleep.When Dad awoke us and was told the whole story the next morning,he said to Jane seriously,“Its dangerous to run away from home.Your mom must be anxious about your safety.Ill drive you home immediately.”After an hours ride,we reached Janes home,in front of which stood a worried woman.Jane rushed over and hugged her tightly,saying tearfully,“Sorry,Mom.”Witnessing this,Dad and I breathed a sigh of relief.
