1、2021年高考英语提分策略之语篇分析微技能微技能31 读后续写之解读人物刻画利用恰当的动词进行符合特定情境的动作描写，真实准确地描述动作过程，以“动”传神。与此同时可以适当利用契合人物性格特点的心理描写和对话描写，使续写部分更为生动。好题精练实践提能阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为 150 左右。(2020浙江 1 月高考改编)“Im going to miss you so much,Poppy，”said the tall,thin teenager.He bent down to hug his old friend goodbye
2、.He stood up，hugged his parents,and smiled，trying not to let his emotions(情绪)get the better of him.His parents were not quite able to keep theirs under control.They had driven their son several hours out of town to the university where he would soon be living and studying.It was time to say goodbye
3、for now at least.The family hugged and smiled through misty eyes and then laughed.The boy lifted the last bag onto his shoulder,and flashed a bright smile.“I guess this is it.”he said.“Ill see you back home in a month,okay？”His parents nodded，and they watched as he walked out of sight into the crowd
4、s of hundreds of students and parents.The boys mother turned to the dog,“Okay,Poppy,time to go back home.”The house seemed quiet as a tomb without the boy living there.All that week,Poppy didnt seem interested in her dinner,her favorite toy,or even in her daily walk.Her owners were sad too,but they
5、knew their son would be back to visit.Poppy didnt.They offered the dog some of her favorite peanut butter treats.They even let her sit on the sofa,but the old girl just wasnt her usual cheerful self.Her owners started to get worried,“What should we do to cheer Poppy up？”asked Dad.“Weve tried everyth
6、ing.”“I have an idea,but it might be a little crazy，”smiled Mom.“Without anybody left in the house but us,this place could use a bit of fun.Lets get a little dog for Poppy.”It didnt take long before they walked through the front door carrying a big box.Poppy welcomed them home as usual,but when she
7、saw the box,she stopped.She put her nose on it.Her tail began wagging(摆动)ever so slowly,then faster as she caught the smell.Paragraph 1Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared._Paragraph 2A few weeks later,the boy arrived home from the university._ 续写思路微点1细读原文，明确叙述意图原文叙述要去上大学的男孩和父母和小狗 Popp
8、y 依依不舍地告别。Poppy 自小主人走后便闷闷不乐，对自己爱吃的食物也不感兴趣。男孩的父母决定找一个小狗陪伴 Poppy。不难推断出文章旨在描述 Poppy 是否又开心起来。2根据段落开头语，围绕原文主旨，确定续写情节确定叙述意图后，定位续写段落开头语关键信息分别是“a sweet little dog appeared”和“A few weeks later,the boy arrived home”可推断第一段续写部分应叙述 Poppy 看到小狗后的反应和她的心情变化是否转忧为喜？而续写部分第二段应叙述男孩回到家时渴望见到 Poppy 的心情和动作，以及见到小狗后的反应。3体会原文动作
9、、心理和对话描写具体的动作描写：原文在前三段中利用了大量的动作描写(具体动作在原文中已加灰底)描写一家人道别时的依依不舍，同时利用多次出现的 hugged和 smiled 暗示这一家人浓浓的亲情。原文最后一段中的一系列动作(加灰底单词)生动地描述 Poppy 见到小狗前的反应。心理描写：原文前三段中的“trying not to let his emotions(情绪)get the better of him”和“not quite able to keep theirs under control”及“misty eyes”体现男孩和他的父母在离别之际的依依不舍。第 45 段中的形容词 q
10、uiet,interested,sad,worried 具体地描述出男孩不在家时这家人对男孩的思念以及男孩父母对Poppy 的关心。对话描写：原文出现四处对话描写，前三段在男孩离开之前的对话描写，体现了男孩舍不得离开父母和 Poppy 的心情。原文最后三段中的对话描写表现了男孩的父母想方设法想让 Poppy 高兴起来的迫切心理。4沿用原文语言特点，完成读后续写原文在动作、心理和对话描写方面不吝笔墨，因此续写部分也应着重使用动作、心理和对话描写。范文Paragraph 1Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared.Poppy jumped
11、 with joy at the sight of the little dog.She lowered her head to watch it curiously.Then she became so excited that she accidentally knocked over the box in an attempt to get closer.With the box tipping over,out came the little one,who was not shy and instantly got familiar with Poppy.It didnt take
12、long before the two played around the house,cheerfully running after each other.Paragraph 2A few weeks later,the boy arrived home from the university.He had been missing his parents and the dog since it was the first time that he had been away from home for such a long time.When the boy caught sight
13、 of Poppy,he went rushing toward the dog and bent down to give her a big hug.Suddenly,the boy noticed the little dog.“Oh my god,who is this？”His parents laughed at the look of surprise on his face.“Its Poppys new companion.”said Mom.技法掌握写高分文备考有法 才稳拿高分 争夺写作满分一、动作描写1动作描写的 3 个原则要准确：表现一个动作可以利用许多动词，但应恰当利
14、用最准确的动词，刻画对应的动作。有过程：展示人物个性的动作时，应通过细节描写展示出动作的过程，在续写时，应按动作的先后顺序叙述整个过程。用修饰：在描写动作时，可利用各种状语，说明时间、地点、原因、伴随等情况，使动作描写更丰富。2动作描写常用的高分素材与肢体语言相关的动作描写素材(1)headShe turned and headed for the door.她转身朝门走去。He buried/put/held his head in hands,greatly annoyed.他双手抱头，非常生气。Many people in the audience nodded in agreement
15、.许多观众点头表示赞同。I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.头一碰枕头我就睡着了。He hung/dropped/lowered/bent/bowed his head in shame.他羞愧地低下了头。(2)faceHer face paled with fright.她吓得脸都白了。A bright smile appeared on/spread across/crossed his face.他的脸上露出了灿烂的笑容。Her face lit up/brightened/glowed when I gave her the
16、present.我给她礼物时，她的脸上焕发出了光彩。(3)cheekColor rushed/flooded/rose to her cheeks when she realized she was being watched.意识到有人在看她，她顿时涨红了脸。He felt his cheeks burning with shame.他因为羞愧而感到脸颊发烧。Her cheeks were wet with tears.她泪流满面。(4)eyeHe turned his eyes to the door when he heard the handle turning.听到门把转动的声音，他
17、向门那边看去。Tina squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip.蒂娜闭上双眼，咬了咬嘴唇。She looked at her father straight in the eye and answered his question truthfully.她直视父亲的眼睛，诚实地回答了他的问题。She tried to sit up,her eyes fixed on Joans face.她试图坐起来，双眼紧盯着琼的脸。I felt tears well up in my eyes.我感到泪水在眼里涌出来。(5)mouthOur mouths droppe
18、d open in surprise.我们惊奇地张大了嘴。My mouth started watering when I smelled the food.闻到食物的香味，我开始流口水了。My heart was in my mouth when I walked into her office.我走进她的办公室时，紧张得心都提到嗓子眼了。(6)handShe took the childs hand and helped him climb the steps.她拉住孩子的手牵着他爬上台阶。He reached for her hand and held it tightly.他伸手抓住她
19、的手并紧紧握住。She shrugged and spread her hands.“Thats all I can tell you.”她耸耸肩，摊开双手说：“我只能告诉你这么多了。”She shivered,rubbing her hands together fiercely.她一边颤抖，一边使劲搓着双手。Her hands shook/trembled as she lifted the glass to her lips.她的手颤抖着把杯子送到唇边。(7)armHe was running forward,waving his arms.他挥舞着胳膊向前跑着。He stood the
20、re with crossed arms,looking angry.他交叉着双臂站在那里，看上去怒气冲冲。She folded her arms and stared at him.她交叉着双臂注视着他。二、心理描写1心理描写的 2 种方法心理描写可以揭示人物的内心世界，表达人物的性格、特点、感情和思想等。心理描写可以运用直接描写和间接描写两种方法。直接描写：直接写主人公的想法、感受、打算等，在具体写作时，可用“I felt”“she thought”“he would”等句式。间接描写：人物的性格不同，情绪不同，其所表现出的动作和神态也就不同，因此可以利用人物的动作和神态体现其心理，也可以
21、利用语言描写表现人物心理。例如：攻略 3 中第一段的续写部分中，母亲提出搭建帐篷过夜的想法，此时可利用 hope that 引出作者的心理活动。在第二段的续写部分中，可以利用形容词 comfortable 和 safe 描述作者对享受母亲的爱的感受。2心理描写的高分素材(1)表“害怕”的心理My throat tightened and my knees felt weak.我喉咙发紧，双膝发软。I froze with terror,too scared to move an inch.我吓呆了，一动也不动。(2)表“愤怒”的心理Her face clouded with anger.她满脸
22、怒气。His voice trembled with anger.他气得声音发抖。He let out cries of anger.他发出愤怒的喊声。(3)表“悲伤和绝望”的心理His heart sank at the news.听到这个消息，他的心一沉。Overcome with bitter disappointment,he locked himself up in his room.由于极度失望，他把自己锁在房间里。He was abruptly thrown into a world of darkness and sank into hopelessness.他突然被抛进一个黑
23、暗的世界，陷入绝望。(4)表“尴尬、紧张”的心理Sweat was pouring down my face.汗水从我脸上滚落下来。(5)表“震惊”的心理She froze with shock,as if rooted to the spot.她吃惊得呆住了，就像在原地生了根似的。Her eyes widened further and his mouth opened.她的眼睛睁得更大了，他的嘴张开了。三、对话描写1对话描写的 3 种表现形式提示语在前，如 A few minutes later,she said,“Grandmother,I am finished now.”提示语在后，
24、如“Here is Susan！”the girls cried.提示语在中间，如“Id like to go with you，”replied Susan,“but I cannot finish the task grandmother set me to do.”2对话描写的 3 个原则在进行续写时，应根据故事情节发展和人物特征灵活运用对话描写优化续写部分的语言。利用对话描写时，应注重 3 个原则。控制对话的比重。对话虽有助于推动故事情节的发展，但不能代替故事情节。读后续写的对话部分所占比重不应高过叙事部分的比重。对话内容应符合人物特点。不同的人物有不同的身份和性格，因此他们的话语应与
25、原文人物特点吻合。对话内容应紧扣原文主旨。所写对话应围绕某一中心或话题，且应与原文主旨一致，这样续写部分的思路才是清晰明朗的，才能契合故事情节的发展。如果没有一个固定的中心，随意对话，就会显得不知所云，偏离故事的主题。例如攻略 3 中的例题第一段中可利用母亲与父亲的简短对话体现母亲健忘的性格。好题精练实践提能做好题 才能笑傲高考阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为 150 左右。Desiree,a 4-year-old girl,was sobbing quietly over her father,Ken,who had died nine
26、 months earlier.She was hugging a photograph of her father with her fingers running around his face.“Daddy，”she said softly.“Why wont you come back？”Instead of gradually adjusting to her fathers death,Desiree refused to accept it.“Daddy will be home soon，”shed tell her mother.“Hes at work.”When she
27、played with her toy telephone,she pretended she was chatting with her father.“I miss you,Daddy，”shed say.“When will you come back？”Days later,it was Kens birthday.“How will I send him a card？”Desiree asked her mother.“How about if we tie a letter to a balloon，”her mother said,“and send it up to Dadd
28、y？”Desirees eyes immediately lit up.Her mother took her to a store and Desiree picked out a balloon with HAPPY BIRTHDAY above a drawing of The Little Mermaid.Desiree and her father had often watched it.The childs eyes shone as they were on the way to Kens grave.Then Desiree dictated a letter to her
29、dad.“Tell him,Happy birthday,I love you and miss you，”she rattled off(快速说).“I hope you get this and can write to me on my birthday.”Her mother wrote the message and their address on a small piece of paper,which was then wrapped in plastic and tied to the end of the string on the balloon.Finally,Desi
30、ree released the balloon.For almost an hour,they watched the shining spot of silver grow smaller and smaller till it disappeared.“Now Dads going to write back to me，”Desiree declared confidently.Every day since theyd released the balloon,Desiree had asked her mother,“Do you think Daddy has my balloo
31、n yet？”Several weeks passed,and she stopped asking.Paragraph 1One day,3,000 miles away,Wade was on a duck hunt when suddenlysomething in the bush caught his eye._Paragraph 2Desirees fifth birthday came and later on the afternoon,a package arrived._续写思路 文章主旨：原文叙述失去父亲的 Desiree 给父亲写信，希望父亲能在他生日那天给他回信祝她生
32、日快乐。续写第一段：根据续写第一段首句中的关键信息“something in the bush caught his eye”和第二段首句中的“a package arrived”可预测第一段应描述 Wade 发现了 Desiree 写给去世的爸爸的信，结合原文情节“希望爸爸在生日那天回信”可知 Wade 应该是买了礼物并写信给 Desiree。续写第二段：根据续写第二段首句中的 a package arrived 结合原文的叙事意图讲述一个感人的故事可推断第二段应描写 Wade 写给 Desiree 的书信内容，以及 Desiree 的心情。范文 Paragraph 1One day,3,0
33、00 miles away,Wade was on a duck hunt when suddenlysomething in the bush caught his eye.Curious,he approached to find a silver balloon,with a piece of paper at the end of the string,wrapped in plastic.Taking it home,Wade read the touching lines to his wife Donna.She was deeply moved.With tears in he
34、r eyes,Donna decided to help Desiree.Thecouple bought a birthday card,and then she wrote a letter to Desiree.Paragraph 2Desirees fifth birthday came and later on the afternoon,a package arrived.Looking at the unfamiliar return address,Desirees mother was confused.Suddenly an idea struck her:the ball
35、oon!She opened the parcel and found a card with“For a Dear Daughter.”Her heart raced.She rushed to Desirees room and showed her the letter.“Its from daddy！”Desiree jumped with joy,asking her mother to read it for her.“Happy birthday,my little girl.”Her mother began.A big tear began to trickle down Desirees cheek.
