1、2012届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义（北师大版）：写作（二十）如右图，简要描述图片内容，结合生活实际，就图片的主题谈谈自己的想法。学生习作外教批改Let Children Create Their Own World1Meimei is learning riding to ride a2 bicycle.Beside her are her parents and grandmother.But They seem to be more anxious than Meimei herself! She wants to ride the bicycle herself，but they f
2、ollowed are following her and prevent3 preventing her by_stopping_her from falling on_the_ground4 off the bike.Meimei is at a loss.Nowadays，in China，there is only one child in a family.So the child becomes the_life_center_of_the_family5 the center of family life.Some people say，“How happiness6 happy
3、 the children nowadays are nowadays7！” But have you seen the problem of_it8 that results?Our children are not able to do many things independently9. Some children cant dress themselves；others dont know the way to their own home.Then So what can they do in the future?Then What cause is causing10 the
4、this11 problem? That The answer is that the pairents parents pay too much attention to their children.It means they help them too much，ask_them_too_much12. Children cant grow13 develop well if they are not allowed to do things themselves.So let them do things by themselves! In many western countries
5、，children are more independent.Just like in Japan14one of the country countries in Asia，children do_many_hard_practise_in15 work hard both at school and house at home.Why cant Chinese children? I think they can finish_the_work do as well as the Japanese children do!I wish every_child16 all children
6、could create their own world!,你们让我自己骑好吗旁批1没有必要写出标题。2可数名词前需加冠词。3描述图片中的动作时，要用现在进行时态。4她在自行车上，所以最好说她从车上摔下来(fall off the bike)，不要说她摔到地上(fall on the ground)。5原句表达不恰当。参见改写后的句子。6词性错误。7时间状语一般放在句末而不是句中。8原句表达不恰当。参见改写后的句子。9需要加上independently，因为这是你的论点所在。正是因为孩子们生活在保护伞下，他们才什么都不会做。仅仅说Our children are not able to do
7、many things表达不出这层意思。10用现在进行时，因为这个问题还在继续。11你在指刚刚提及的问题，所以用this。12表达不清楚。问他们什么？13你的身体成长用grow，但品质成长用develop。14注意：在前一句中，你在讲述西方国家(western countries)，但现在又跳到日本一个亚洲国家。为简化，你可以说：In many western countries and Japan，children are.或者不要提到西方国家。15语法错误。参见改写后的句子。16把every child改写成all children以和their呼应。这是一篇尚好的作文。有很多基本的结构错
8、误，词汇贫乏，因此等级不高。但是，本文构思得当，疑问句的使用具有创造性，增添了文章的可读性和结构的变化性。高分作文秘诀之十三：写出引人入胜的开头。1使用能激起读者好奇心的句子。例如： When she got up that morning，she would never have thought shed be spending the night in prison.2使用一些逸闻趣事。例如： My father used to dress up as Santa Claus every Christmas.For years we had to pretend we didnt know
9、 it was him!3使用一些令人惊讶、印象深刻或震惊的事实或数据。例如： Half of all marriages in the UK end in divorce.4使用疑问句。例如： Have you ever had the feeling that someone was following you?2009年9月3日，武汉某高校新生开学报到。一位“富家女”来校时，父母陪同，豪华车接送，配备了两名专职导游，还携带了19箱行李，惊人的场面使同学们目瞪口呆。同学们对此看法不一，观点如下：观点一：享受优越的家庭条件带来的便利不是错。观点二：不利于培养独立生活的能力。请你据此写一篇12
10、0词左右的英语短文，介绍大家的观点，并谈谈自己的看法。_参考范文：On September 3,2009，a freshman came to a university in Wuhan in a luxurious car together with her parents，two professional guides and 19 suitcases of clothes and toys.This really surprised all her schoolmates present.Different attitudes are held by the students towar
11、ds the girls behaviour.Some think that it is not wrong of her to enjoy the convenience of favourable family conditions，while others hold the view that it is against the development of independent living skills.As far as Im concerned，college students are no longer children and therefore should learn how to live on their own.They should experience challenges and hardships and get mentally prepared for their future life.Only in this way can they succeed in their future career and become useful to society.