1、202 The One With the Breast MilkScene: Monica and Rachels, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.MONICA: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know hes gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldnt resist. (There a little pa
2、ir of Nike shoes.)PHOEBE: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my god, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?SUSAN: Oh, is he hungry already?CAROL: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)CHANDLER: You know, its. (sees the feeding taking place next to him) somet
3、hing funny about sneakers. Ill be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)JOEY: (joins him) I gotta get one, too.ROSS: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?CHANDLER: Were just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?ROSS: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thin
4、g in the world.JOEY: Yeah, we know, but theres a baby suckin on it.ROSS: This is my son having lunch, ok? Its gonna happen a lot, so youd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if youre uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carols fine with it, now come on.(They go back into the li
5、ving room)CHANDLER: Carol, Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?CAROL: Sure.JOEY: Uh, does it hurt?CAROL: It did at first, but not anymore.JOEY: Chandler?CHANDLER: So, uh, how often can you do it?CAROL: As much as he needs.JOEY: Ok, I got one, I got one.
6、If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?OPENING TITLES Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.JULIE: Rachel, do you have any muffins left?RACHEL: Yeah, I forget which ones.JULIE: Oh, youre busy, thats ok, Ill get it. Anybody else want one? ALL: No thanks.JULIE: Oh, youre losin your a
7、pron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)RACHEL: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.JULIE: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdales whos quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and ta
8、ke advantage of it?PHOEBE: I cant, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.MONICA: Ok, um, Ill go with you. JULIE: Great.ROSS: (enters) Hi, honey.CHANDLER: Hey, sweetums.ROSS: Hello to the rest.ALL: Hi!JOEY: Monica whatre you doin? You cant go shopping with her? What about Rachel?MONICA: Its gonna
9、be a problem, isnt it?CHANDLER: Come on, youre going to Bloomingdales with Julie? Thats like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.MONICA: But Im-PHOEBE: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.ROSS: So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?MONIC
10、A: Yeah, uh, its actually not that big a deal.ROSS: Its a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.MONICA: Youre welcome.PHOEBE: Woof, woof. Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling mens cologne.JOEY: Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Hey Annabelle.ANNABELLE: Hey,
11、 Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?JOEY: Who?ANNABELLE: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.JOEY: Whats he doin in my section?ANNABELLE: I guess he doesnt know.JOEY: Well, hes gonna. Ill see you a little later, ok? Hey, how ya doin?TODD: Mornin. JOEY: Listen, I
12、 know youre new, but its kinda understood that everything from Young Mens to the escalator is my territory.TODD: Your territory, huh?JOEY: Yeah. Bijan for men?GUY: No thanks.TODD: Hombre?GUY: Yeah. All right.TODD: You were saying?Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.MONICA: Phoebe,
13、listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.PHOEBE: What?MONICA: We were shopping, and we had lunch.PHOEBE: Oh, all right. What did I have?MONICA: You had a salad.PHOEBE: Oh, no wonder I dont feel full.RACHEL: (entering) Hey, guys, whats up.PHOEBE: I went shopping with Monica all day, and
14、 I had a salad.RACHEL: Good, Pheebs. Whatd you buy?PHOEBE: Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.RACHEL: You went shopping for fur?PHOEBE: Yes, and then I realized Im against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.RACHEL: You bought boobs?PHOEBE: (Monica
15、is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras. Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.JOEY: Bijan for men? Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.ANNABELLE: Oh, actually I sorta have
16、plans.TODD: Ready, Annabelle?ANNABELLE: You bet. Maybe some other time?JOEY: Hey, its not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. Bijan for men? Scene: Monica and Rachels, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.CAROL: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after
17、 his naps, not before his naps or he wont sleep.ROSS: Carol, weve been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. Its like were father and son.SUSAN: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Dont look so surprised. Im a lovely person.RACHEL: Oh, this is so cute.SUSAN: Oh, I got th
18、at for him.ROSS: My mommies love me. Thats clever.MONICA: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju- Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Ok. Um, sure, thatd be great. See ya then. Bye. RACHEL: Did you just say Hi, Jew?MONICA: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.PHOEBE: Ben,
19、 dinner!ROSS: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didnt microwave that, did you, because its breast milk, and youre not supposed to do that.PHOEBE: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok.CHANDLER: What did you just do?PHOEBE: I licked my arm, what?ROSS: Its breast milk.PHOEBE: So?RACHEL: Phoebe, t
20、hat is juice, squeezed from a person.JOEY: What is the big deal?CHANDLER: What did you just do?ROSS: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?PHOEBE: You wont even taste it?ROSS: No!PHOEBE: Not even if you just pretend that its milk?ROSS: Not even if Carols breast had a picture of a missing ch
21、ild on it.MONICA: Hey, where is everybody?RACHEL: They took Ben to the park. Whereve you been?MONICA: Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.RACHEL: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. Here are your keys, hon. Mon, if uh you were at lunch al
22、one, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?MONICA: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.RACHEL: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocketMONICA: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.RACHEL: Monica, what is with you? Whod you have lunch with
23、?MONICA: Judy.RACHEL: Who?MONICA: Julie.RACHEL: What?MONICA: Jody.RACHEL: You were with Julie?MONICA: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brothers girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were.shopping.RACHEL: Oh. Oh my god. MO
24、NICA: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didnt mean anything to me.RACHEL: Yeah, right.MONICA: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, Im sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out.RACHEL: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught.MONICA: That is not true!RACHEL: Oh, so you
25、 just sort of happened to leave it in here?MONICA: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?RACHEL: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdales? Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now.MONICA: Hi, whos th
26、is? Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? Its Monica. Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. Joanna, its not as simple as all that, ok? No, I dont care what Steve thinks. Hi, Steve.CAROL: How did we do?PHOEBE: Oh, I tasted Bens milk, and Ross freaked out.ROSS: I did not freak out. CAROL: Whyd you freak out?RO
27、SS: Because its breast milk. Its gross.CAROL: My breast milk is gross?SUSAN: This should be fun.ROSS: No, no, Carol. Theres nothing wrong with it. I just dont think breast milk is for adults.CHANDLER: Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.CAROL: Ross, youre being silly. Ive
28、 tried it, its no big deal. Just taste it.ROSS: That would be no.PHOEBE: Come on. It doesnt taste bad.JOEY: Yeah, its kinda sweet, sorta like, uh-SUSAN: Cantaloupe juice.JOEY: Exactly.ROSS: Youve tasted it? Youve tasted it.SUSAN: Uh huh.ROSS: Oh, youve tasted it.SUSAN: You can keep saying it, but it
29、 wont stop being true.ROSS: Gimme the bottle. Gimme the towel.CHANDLER: Howdy.JOEY: Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.CHANDLER: Well, maybe its because of the way youre dressed.JOEY: Or maybe its because this guys doing so good they wanna put more people on it. You should se
30、e this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.CHANDLER: What do you care? Youre an actor. This is your day job. This isnt supposed to mean anything to you.JOEY: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. I dont know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guy
31、s up in housewares to serve cheese.CHANDLER: All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebodys gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then wherere you gonna run?JOEY: Yeah I guess youre right.CHANDLER: Youre damn right Im right. I say you show this guy what youre made of. I
32、say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.JOEY: Im gonna do it.CHANDLER: All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and shell fix you up with a nice hooker.MONICA: I dont know what else to say.RACHEL: Well that works out good, because Im not listening.M
33、ONICA: I feel terrible, I really do.RACHEL: Oh, Im sorry, did my back hurt your knife?MONICA: Rachel, say that Im friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?RACHEL: Yes.MONICA: Its that terrible?RACHEL: Yes. Monica, you dont get it. Its bad enough that shes stolen the guy who
34、 might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, shes actually, but now shes actually stealing you.MONICA: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because Im friends with her doesnt make me any less friends with you. I mean, youre my.Were, we
35、re.Oh, I love you.RACHEL: I love you too.PHOEBE: You guys, um I know that this really doesnt have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. Oh, I really needed that.MONICA: Look, I know that youre in a place right now where you really need to hate Julies guts, but she didnt do anything wro
36、ng. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, youd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?RACHEL: Id do anything for you, you know that.MONICA: Id do anything for you.PHOEBE: Wait, wait, wait, wait!JOEY: Mornin. I said,
37、 mornin.TODD: I heard ya.STORE GUY: All right, everybody, Im openin the doors. You boys ready?TODD: Ready.JOEY: Yeah, Im ready.CUSTOMER: You idiot, you stupid cowboy, you blinded me, Im suing!STORE GUY: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?TODD: Im sorry. I am such a doofus. Im so sorry, Im so
38、sorry.ANNABELLE: My god, what happened?JOEY: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all.stop lastin. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?ANNABELLE: Sure.JULIE: So.RACHEL: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, weve never
39、 really talked. I guess youd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?JULIE: I know, I probably shouldnt even tell you this, but Im pretty much totally intimidated by you.RACHEL: Really? Me?JULIE: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to lik
40、e me, and, its probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you dont.RACHEL: Well, youre not totally paranoid.JULIE: Oy.RACHEL: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which Im not gonna bore
41、 you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monicas always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when shes right.JULIE: Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?RACHEL: Yeah, thatd be great. Id lov
42、e it.JULIE: Id love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, Ill talk to you later.RACHEL: All right, Julie. What a manipulative bitch.END 202 母乳这些非常昂贵我知道他很快就穿不下但是我就是无法抗拒看看这些嗨，班做了就对!是不是对他压力太大?他已经饿了吗?我想是的他已经饿了吗?我想是的球鞋真的很有趣我马上就回来!我也要一个你们在干什么?我们只是来看看汤匙要调羹吗?你们成熟一点好吗?这是世上最自然美丽的我们知道担心在有个婴儿在吸它这是我儿子在吃午餐你们最好习惯如果你们感到不自
43、在发问就好卡萝不介意的卡萝?我想问问乔伊能不能提出关于哺乳的问题?当然可以会不会痛?刚开始会，现在不会了钱德?你能多久喂一次?只要他需要就可以我想到了一个问题如果他对一个吹气另一个会不会变大?还有松糕吗?还有，我忘记是哪一种你太忙了，我来拿你的围裙松了，我帮你系好了谢好谢真是个恶婆娘!我有朋友在布明岱尔百货上班明天就不干了他想要花掉他的折扣优待谁想跟我去捡便宜?我不行我要带我祖母去看兽医我跟你去我跟你去哈罗，各位你不能跟她去逛百货瑞秋怎么办?会有问题，对不对?你要跟芙莉去布明岱尔就像是到瑞秋家中偷汉子她会宰了你她会宰了你就像宰街上的流浪狗芙莉说你们明天要去逛街其实没有什么对我很重要，非常重要我
44、非常感激你这么做别客气碧而泉男性香水?听说过新来的人吗?没人知道他的名字我们女生都叫他“原野奇侠”原野奇侠?他到我这一区干什么?我想他不知道他必须知道待会见你好吗?你好吗?听着，我知道你是新来的但众所周知这附近的一切从年轻人部门到电梯都是我的地盘你的地盘?碧而泉男性香水?不，谢了原野奇侠?原野奇侠?你刚才说什么?菲此，听着，你跟我一起逛了整天街买东西我们买东西，吃午餐我吃了什么?难怪我觉得饿嗨，怎么样?我整天都跟摩妮卡买东西吃了一客沙拉很好，菲比你们买了什么?买了皮毛你去买皮毛?然后我发现我反对买皮毛于是我们买了一些波霸你买了波霸?胸罩!我们买了胸罩碧而泉男性香水?碧而泉嗨，安娜贝下班后我们可
45、以喝个咖啡吗?我已经有计昼了准备好了吗，安娜贝?好了以后再约吧我又不是没被啧香水的牛仔抢走女孩子过碧而泉男性香水?这是滑稽小丑只有睡过午觉才可以给他玩否则他会睡不着我带过他，我们玩得很高兴我们又笑又玩就像父亲跟儿子一样罗斯很会带他别这么惊讶我是个很好的人好可爱!我为他买的真聪明真聪明嗨，犹太人!好的，可以很好，待会见你刚才是不是说：嗨，犹太人?对，我是这么说那是我的犹太朋友艾迪莫斯考维兹他很喜欢这称呼能加强他的信仰班，吃晚餐了谢谢，菲此姑妈你没有用微波炉吧?不应该这样处理母乳我想我知道如何加热母乳你在干什么?我舔了我的手臂，怎么样?那是母乳又怎么样?菲此那是从另一个人身上挤出的汁有什么了不起?
46、你又在干什么?大家能不能不要喝母乳?你连尝都不尝?不能假装那是牛奶吗?就算卡萝的乳房贴了牛奶寻人广告都不行大家到哪里去了?带班去公园了，你去哪里了?出去吃了午餐，只有我一个人与自己共度美好时光你也可以向我借这是你的钥匙如果你一个人吃午餐怎么会要五十三块?你知道大概发生什么事吗?定有人偷了我的信用卡然后把收据放回你口袋?这是个非常好的问题真的非常好朱蒂，谁？朱蒂，什么？裘迪你跟芙莉在一起?刚开始我只是想对她友善点，因为她是我哥哥的女友然后事情接着发生我还不清楚，我们就去瞎拼了我的天慢着，我们只做了一次对我没有任何意义!我一直想的是你对不起，好吗?我不希望你知道的拜托!你希望被逮到才不是!所以你不
47、小心留收据在这里?我会这么笨?好，我必须知道一件事你是不是跟她去布明岱尔?我现在不能跟你在一起了嗨，哪一位?嗨，琼安，瑞秋在吗?我是摩妮卡我知道我做了很糟糕的事琼安，事情没这么简单我才不在乎史提夫怎么想嗨，史提夫情况如何?我尝了班的奶水罗斯发癫了我没有发癫你为什么发癫?因为那是母乳很呕心我的奶水很呕心?这会很好玩这没什么不对我只是不认为母乳是给大人喝的当然母乳的容器很吸引大人与小孩别傻了，我试过，没什么口尝一尝不行很自然又不难吃有一点甜，很像像什么?哈密瓜汁没错你尝过了喔，你尝过了你可以一直说下去也不会变成假话把奶瓶给我把毛巾给我吃饱没?给我一罐果汁他们把我调到原野奇侠了也许是因为你的穿着或因
48、为那家伙表现太好了他们要增加人手那家伙一天用掉两瓶你在乎什么?你是个演员这只是你的副业，没什么我知道，但我本来是最棒的我喜欢当最棒的也许我应该退出江湖厨具部门需要有人切乳酪假如你这么做了将来迟早有人会出现乳酪切得此你更好那时候你要逃到哪里?也许你说得对我说你应该发挥大丈夫气概让他知道你是内衣部西边最厉害的原野奇侠!我要这么做现在去找猫咪小姐她会介绍个好妓女给你我不知道该说什么很好，因为我不会听我觉得很糟糕，真的对不起我的背伤害了你的刀吗?我跟她交朋友，一起去逛街这有什么不好?真的很不好吗?是的，你还不懂吗?她偷走我的男人已经够糟了我可能会跟他长相厮守但现在她竟然现在她竟然连你也抢走了!你在说什
49、么?没人能把我从你那里抢走我与她交朋友不会影响我与你的感情你是我的喂，我知道这与我完全无关但我也爱你们！我很需要这样我知道现在你很想恨死芙莉但是她没有做错什么她只是认识了一个男生现在他们在交往我想如果你给她一个机会你会喜欢她的你愿意给她一个机会吗?为了我?我愿意为你做任何事你知道的我什么都愿意为你做等一下!我说：早我听见了我要开门了你们准备好了吗?好了我也好了我也好了你弄瞎我了!我要告你们天啊!陶德!你在搞什么鬼对不起，我真是笨手笨脚!对不起，非常对不起老天，发生什么事?这些菜乌，都撑不了很久这些菜乌，都撑不了很久捅出纰漏我们去喝杯咖啡怎么样?我想我们应该亲近亲近你知道的我们从来没有真正谈过话我想你说得对因为你是我们两个之我知道我也许不该告诉你你在开玩笑吗?罗斯还是对你很着迷我真的希望你喜欢我也许我只是胡思乱想但我好像觉得你不喜欢我你不是完全胡思乱想当你与罗斯刚开始交往时，我真的很难过有太多理由，我不要烦你但我看到他非常快乐，而且你们在一起是多么相配摩妮卡一直说你有多好我真讨厌她说得对谢谢你想不想一起去看电影或出去玩?这样很好，我很乐意我也是我必须要走了真是个玩弄人的贱人!真不赖